Sudden Changes
by Alpha and Slayer
Summary: When two guys get sent the universe of Mass Effect, they not only go on a small quest to get back home, but they have to also deal with some rather... Sudden changes.
1. Chapter 1

The Clock was around 4:30, there were two roomies, or "bros" as they liked to call themselves, one was moving around with a plate in his hand whilst the other one was sitting on their couch playing a video game.

"You sure you don't want to join?" The one on the couch asked the other one.

"Eating. How can I join?" He relied before taking a bite of his food, which was a simple set of tacos.

"Simple put the plate on the couch table, pick up a controller, and then press join game." The one sitting down playing said.

Oh and yes, the names of these two. It's Mark and Jed, the one sitting downs name is Mark while the one who was standing there and eating is Jed.

"Oh..." Jed gulped down what he was eating. "...Bugger off." He finished.

"What? It's just that simple! Besides, you love Mass Effect 3!" Mark said pausing the game and looking at Jed. "I know you want to join!"

"Eh..." Jed said looking to the remote and then his food. "... Oh fine."

"I knew you would come around! Now! Lets kick some ass!" Mark said as he un-paused the game and killed some geth, he then asked a random question. "Hey, have you played Mass Effect one?"

Jed simply sat down and grabbed the remote before joining the carnage. "Nnnnnnnnnope."

Mark just gawped at Jed before shaking his head. "How can you not have played it? Sure the whole game was clumsy, but it had at least good story."

"Well... I just haven't been in the mood for old games lately." Jed said shrugging.

"What? Your imaginary girlfriend broke up with you?" Mark asked, trying to provoke Jed.

"Nope. Heard you broke up with Jill though." Jed said grinning as he was staring at the TV.

Provocation was not so effective. But a facepalm sure was.

"Ha... Fuckin' … Ha. Very funny."

"Not my fault you treat her so badly." Jed said smirking. Mark just sighed at Jed before playing more, he then aimed at Jed's in game character before firing a few rounds, causing his screen to be come red.

"Hey! You jerk! Stop that!" Jed said running to cover.

"Whoops. Forgot friendly fire was on!" Mark said with a smirk.

"Ya. Ain't that a quinkie dink." Jed said glaring at Mark.

"Quinkie dinks, quinkie dinks everywhere." Mark said, as he took a sip of a drink that he had.

"Yeah yeah..." Jed just took his drink and sipped at it as well. "So what now?"

"You said you never tried Mass Effect one, yes?" Mark asked with a eyebrow raised.

"Quite." Jed said leaning back against the couch.

"Alright let me fetch it from my room then." Mark said as he stood up and put down the controller on the table. Jed just sighed and put his remote onto the table before eating some more of his now cold food.

"Oh god damn it. You made me let my food get cold!" Jed yelled at Mark.

"You wanna know how? Because it's neat." Mark yelled back from his room, as rummaging was heard. I'm pretty sure that he tossed shit around to find the game.

"Find that game yet?" Jed yelled as he got up and went to the kitchen to reheat his food.

"Fuck you that's how!" Mark yelled with a laugh, before tipping something over. "Shit! Not my mini-fridge!"

"HA!" Jed yelled before laughing out loud. Jed just took his food out and began to eat it again. "I hope you didn't pop any cans! Carbonation makes those things spray all over the place."

"Dirty minded bastard!" Mark yelled back before tossing something again. "Oh hey! Look a penny!"

Jed just laughed before walking over and down the hallway before finding Mark's room and leaning against the door frame. He just sat there and watched as Mark threw things all over the room. "Find it yet?" He asked taking a bite of his food.

"Found my guitar! Yours as well! But I'm sure its around here somewhere..." Mark said pointing at the bed where two guitars laid. One that had a, skull with very long fangs were engraved on the side whilst it was black in color wise. The other was a simple deep purple with yellow flames going form the bottom and curling halfway around the neck whilst gun metal grey smoke took up the rest of it's neck.

"Why do I have your guitar in my room? Well that's simple, I thought it was lucky charms inside of it." Mark said before pulling out something. "Oh hey, it's the game!"

"Yay!... Now you just have to cross this mine field." Jed said gesturing to the floor in front of him. "Wish you the best of luck." He then just got off the wall and walked back to the living room.

"Well... Hmm..." Mark stood up before looking around he stepped back a bit before throwing himself forward. "Dolphin dive!"

Jed just shook his head and sat down into his seat before finishing his food and grabbing his soda on the table. "You dead in there?" Jed asked as he looked to the hallway.

"Ow... Fuck, wish that I had some extra regeneration powers or something." Mark said holding a hand to his forehead when he came out of his room. "I might have a small wound on my forehead, nothing I won't die of."

"Why did you dive into a pile of inanimate objects?" Jed asked as he sipped on his soda.

"Easiest way out." Mark said shrugging. "Besides would you like me to walk around objects that would at least have taken ten minutes?" Mark asked with a eyebrow raised.

"Eh... Might have been amusing to watch." Jed said shrugging.

"Well... Probably as amusing to see you around girls... You are like super shy." Mark said as he walked over.

"You try being the only kid in sixth grade that's a boy." Jed said blushing.

"Hey! At least I've got a girl!" Mark said looking at the now blushing Jed before tossing over the game. "I brought my guitar."

"Why? May I ask?" Jed said as he grabbed the game and went to the Xbox.

"Single player game only, and since you are the one playing... Might as well practice some."

Jed gave him a nod of agreement before popping the Xbox tray open. It jammed for a second before Jed groaned and smacked it. "Stupid Xbox!... Oh. There is goes." Jed said as it unjammed.

"The fuck is up with our Xbox anyways? I mean, it works perfectly some times, sometimes it won't."

Jed just shrugged before opening the game and pulling the disc out. "No clue, but hey? What are we gonna do?" Jed said as he put the disc in again.

Mark just shurgged before sitting down in a recliner next to the couch. "I don't know, maybe call some hookers and pizza." He said with a evil grin on his face.

"You want to get STDs?" Jed said looking behind him as he pushed the tray back into the Xbox and got up.

"Good point, so pizza it is?" Mark asked, before picking a few strings on his guitar.

"Sure..." Jed said grabbing the remote and the phone. "Pizza Hut, Dominos, or Anthony's Pizza?"

"Uh, fuck do I know." Mark said looking out the window, it was a full moon outside glowing vastly in the night sky brightening up the ground in its vast majestic moon light. "Such a lovely night out side... Makes me want to sink my teeth in to something..." He said laughing a bit. "Get it?"

"Makes me want to eat a Moon Pie." Jed said grinning.

"Of course you didn't get it." Mark said sighing.

"Your a vampire... Yes yes." Jed said waving a hand at him.

"Oh hey the game is starting up!" Mark said pointing at the TV, just as the Bioware logo was shown in the game, the appartment, the everything went black... Except the moon, it just kept glowing majestically.

"Aw wut?" Jed whined from his spot on the couch. "God damn it. Stupid black out making me get up to find a flashlight."

"Hmm... Whats the time?" Mark said as put a hand in his jeans pockets before whipping out a phone. "What the... Its only six at night, who would do this to us?"

"People who suck cosmic balls that's who." Jed said angrily. He walked around for a few seconds until the phone in his hand began to ring. "Da fuq? I thought the power was out."

"Hey that might be your girlfriend! Awnser for fuck sake, I hate power... out... Uh since when did we have a vortex instead of a Tv?" Mark asked looking at the now growing vortex.

Jed just dumbly answered the phone while not taking his eyes off the vortex. "Hullo?" There was just static on the other side before a loud noise was heard, all of a sudden the vortex rapidly expanded before sucking in Mark's guitar.

"Fuck this!" Mark yelled as he tried to climb out of his recliner but ended up holding on to it for dear life. "Da fuq is this vortex's problem?"

Jed was just behind the couch still clutching the static spewing phone. "No idea! But why do I have a sudden urge to say 'LOL NOPE!'?" Jed asked just then the couch was sucked into the vortex. "...Fuck."

"That couch costed like hundred bucks too!" Mark complained. "God damn it, you money sucking vortex whore!"

"Um you seem to be forgetting something."Jed said as the phone was taken form his hand. "I am currently without covEERRRR!" Jed just began to slide towards the vortex. "SHITSHITSHIT!"

All of a sudden the recliner that Mark was holding on to lifted of the ground. "Son of a bitch!" He yelled as he was sucked into the vortex "I've always hated you Jed!" he yelled out from inside the vortex. Jed soon followed yelling.

"Fuck you too!"

Then from behind him the last of the moonlight got shut out, and the vortex became a giant void of darkness.

"What the hell is this?" Mark asked through a echo. "Why are we floating?"

Jed just shrugged. "I have no idea... But I am itchy." Jed said scratching his head.

"Why do I feel sleepy all of a sudden?" Mark asked drowsily before stifling a yawn.

"I don't know... But I see what you *Yawn* Mean." Jed said as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

Mark tried to stay awake but kept getting his eyes closed. "God... Damn... You! Jee-.." Was everything Mark was able to say before falling asleep.

"Mark!... Why are you sleeping in a time like" Jed let out a yawn. "this?" Jed said before slipping into the same state.

**"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"**

**(****_Mark's P.O.V._****)**

Everything was dark, cold and seemingly dead. I looked around before realizing I was alone, I made sure that I was alone before stretching out. "Ah, Freedom at last!" Then I felt like something hard hit my head.

"Ow what the fuck.." I groaned as I woke up from my void of freedom. I clutched my head as I sat up from the bed "Ugh feels like someone decided to shoot me in the head over and over." I muttered to myself as I got up out of the bed.

I walked towards what I assumed was the bathroom and I realized something. "I feel slightly slimmer... And my voice is lighter."

I stood still for a while before walking towards the door, which ominously slid open. It just auto opened when I got close. I started to think about the stuff that might have happened, but no reasonable thing came to mind. I then noticed I had little clothes on and that I felt feminine as fuck.

"What the fuck is it with me today?" I muttered to myself and as I walked inside of the bathroom and turned on the water I looked in the mirror and saw... A unknown woman. "What the hell?"

I kept looking before I noticed that I had short black spiky hair. "You've got to be joking..." I asked myself. "Why the fuck am I a female?" I almost shouted before throwing some water in my face and walking out. "This is one freaky fucking dream."

As I walked out I saw that a Turian was lying on the bed. All of a sudden, I felt very, very awkward. Not only that, but I lacked clothes... I looked at him for a few seconds before he stirred. Oh yes, I was missing undergardments too.

"Well... Fuck." I muttered to myself. The Turian just flipped onto his back and stretched his arms out before relaxing and sitting up, smacking his... Lips... Mandibles? I... I have no clue.

"Aaah... That was a nice sleep." He said stretching again and lazily opening his eyes. He looked around the room before he saw me. "... Oh what the fuck?"

"What the fuck are you doing here... Better question why the fuck did I wake up with you in bed?" I asked him. He just held up his talons and began to say.

"Wow wow lady I don't.." Then he saw his talons. "... Um... Who the hell chopped off my other two fingers?" He looked at his talons before looking down at his body. "... No... No nonono."

Thank god for me reading the mass effect encyclopedia thingy. Other wise I'd probably be freaking out, but then again I'm close to freaking out. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BODY!?" The Turain yelled getting up and running to the bathroom behind me. Then I heard. "OH COME ON!... What the hell!?... Wait wheres my di- oh there it is... STILL WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Then the Turian came out looking rather angry. He pointed a talon at me and growled. "Who the fuck are you and what in the name of god did you do to me!?"

"Hey! I didn't do anything to you! Don't go pointing fingers to what you have done towards me! Or something like that." I shot back raising my hands defensively. "You also undressed me whilst I was asleep!"

"I did no-!... Why are you naked?" He said tilting his head.

"Don't fucking ask me!" I said angrily "It was you who molested me in my sleep!"

His mandibles... Lips, whatever flared in surprise and slight disgust. "I did not! I just woke up there!" He said pointing to the bed. "So don't be blaming me… Whoever you are!"

"Well fuck you too then!" I shouted pointing a finger at him, I then turned around and found a guitar on a metallic looking table next to a couch. "Huh, that's odd... What is my guitar doing here?"

"Wait... That's your guitar?" The Turian behind me said. He had genuine surprise in his voice.

"Well no, you see there is a name stuck all over it... Can't you see it? It says NOBODY." I said sarcasticly.

"Wait a minute... If that's yours. Then that means... HOREY SHEET! MARK YOU'RE A GIRL!?" The Turian blurted out.

"WHAT THE FUCK! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT NAME!?" I blurted out spinning around.

"How could I not know the name of my friend?!" He yelled back, crossing his arms. "I mean come on! I am not that much of a dick!"

"Waaaaait... hmm..." I said looking at the unknown Turian infront of me. I felt awkward for still being naked or well as naked as a female could get. "Jed that you buddy?" I asked hoping for some sort of response from that name, otherwise I'd punch something.

"Noooo. I am just a random Turian that just happens to know your name dumbass." He said deadpanning. "OF COURSE IT'S ME!"

My brain was dead at that moment, so the first thing I did was to look down. And still saw that I was naked. "DON'T LOOK!" I said covering myself some what with the covers that I some how had manadged to grab.

"Wha-... OH good heavens." He said putting his talons over his eyes and turning around. "Why are you not decent!?"

"What? I wasn't the one staring at a girl!" I shot back a bit pissed off for some reason.

"It's not my fault you are a nudes!" He said slightly chuckling. "And I wasn't staring!"

"Oh really? Why are you blushing then?" I said putting on a very suductive tone. "You look cute."

"Oh don't start that crap again!" He whined. "I thought we promised never to mention it again!"

I looked around for clothes and found some on a chair next to a desk... Which had a futuristic computer on it... God I love the future. I walked over and grabbed the pants. I also noticed that there was a Crimson Coat that was lying there, after putting on my pants, I grabbed it and put it on, it had a hood too.

"Never mention what again?" I asked a bit confused.

"Exactly... Did you find any clothes yet? I am getting cold over here." He said shivering slightly "Stupid metal walls and floors."

"Nope, still nothing." I lied because fuck him... He stared at me. "Still looking... Can't find smack." I was currently putting on my... well... Shirt after taking off my coat, then I put on my coat again.

"Oh god damn it... I need to pee..." He said walking to the bathroom, from inside I heard. "... Well this sucks, Stupid Turian body."

I finished getting dressed and sneaked over to the bathroom, which was surprisingly easy since I normally would be clumsy as fuck and just trip on something and screw myself over, but no this time I actually sneaked over not making a single sound, I then leaned in the door way smirking.

"Having a tough time?" I practically shouted causing him to jump a bit. He let out a small scream before a cup or something that was a cylinder was thrown at the wall covered in a blueish purple energy.

"Ye need to work on yer magic." I said putting on my best Scottish accent. He just panted for a moment before glaring.

"You bitch!" He said a bit pissed. "And you found clothes you fuckin' lair!"

"Ohh, feisty... I like it." I purred out, clawing the air a bit and giving him a wink. He just groaned and walked out past me.

"Just enough with the seduction already. You may be a girl, but you don't need to hit on me." he said with a somewhat frustrated tone.

"Hey!" I said turning around. "I was not, hitting on you. Just being... Um... Myself?" I asked both him and myself. He just waved a talon at me before looking around.

"Ah! A dresser... Or at least I think it is one." He said walking over to a small dresser. He opened it up and gave a small cheer as he pulled out a set of pants and a shirt. "Finally..."

He quickly got dressed, occasionally fumbling around, and sighed as he was finally clothed. "Well that's better." He said sounding rather relived.

"Aww..." I said sadly whilst looking at him. "Why did ya have to go and do that." I asked with a sad tone.

"Exactly the reason why you are whining at me now. I don't want to be hit on by my friend." He said deadpanning.

"Hey! …. You are Jed right..." I said a bit hesitant, still confused form all the mind fuck that had happen right a few minutes ago.

"Yes... Yes I am. I thought we cleared that up already." Jed said sounding a bit annoyed. "Now come on... let's find out where we are." He said walking towards what looked like the exit, I literally with a skip in my step followed him like someone skipping through a field of flowers in the most gay way possible, and probably screaming something about "Broooother! I looove you!" Or something like that.

"What is wrong with you Mark? You are acting stranger than usual." Jed said walking through the auto-opening door.

"It's the future! Every thing is more shiny here!" I said skipping after him, with well more or less super curiosity plastered all over my face.

"Yeah yeah... Now where are w-"

"Good morning Captain Thyrone!" A random techno sounding voice said.

"AAAAH!" Jed screamed before falling backwards. Luckily I caught him, and in the most sexy way ever, by just stretching my arms a bit and leaning forward. It was totally super sexy.

"Got'cha, stop being clumsy." I said in his ear... Or well side of head, I have honestly no clue where Turians have their hearing. For all I know we could hear with our eyes.

"Oh shut up you!" He said getting up. "And what the fuck was that!?"

"Oh I am the ships A.I. unit!" The voice said.

"Let me guess! MK 13 or Mark v.13,37?" I randomly asked.

"Why yes I am! Now if we may head up to the captains deck, we have to set a course for our next destination." The A.I. responded.

"Wait who is the captain?" Jed asked looking to me as if I had the answer.

"Why the fuck should I know that of all the People?" I asked looking at me. "I'm a girl sure! But I can't fucking see the future."

"And this day just keeps giving me a headache." Jed said rubbing his head. "Alright... A.I. Who is the captain of this ship?... Wait we are on a space ship?"

"Why yes we are. You are on the space ship. The captain of this ship is... You captain Thyrone." The A.I. answered.

"Wait a minute... My name isn't Thyrone!" Jed said a bit flustered.

"But... It fits you!" I said hugging Jed from behind causing him to become more flustered.

"Oi stop that!" He said. "Why am I the captain of a spaceship!? I can't drive a space boat! More importantly... Why is my last name Thyrone!"

"But... Maybe that's your first name!" I said hugging him somewhat tighter.

"Oh god this day is going to give me a brain tumor." He said rubbing his head again. "Okay.. Okay okay. A.I.! Who is in command of this ship?"

"The Captain of this ship is Jeodiah Thyrone. Or you to be even more specific." The A.I. said.

"Oh bloody hell!" Jed said slumping a bit. "This sucks!"

"Why?" I asked him releasing my Iron grip, letting him fall to the floor at his expense. "Oops."

"Oh I don't care right now!" He said from his spot on the floor. "I just want to go back to bed! And wake up on the couch in our apartment!"

I just stood there quietly for a time before starting to skip around. Humming some random tune that came to my head as I then rounded a corner I found a painting and proceeded to tilted it. "Ha take that straight painting!"

Jed just rounded the same corner before seeing the painting and righting it before walking down the rest of the hallway. Then he turned and yelled. "Well are coming to the bridge with me or not?"

"But I want to tilt a few other painting first!" I whined looking at my masterful tilting.

"Just come on! We need to figure out what the hell is going on! Not fool around! Now come hither!" He said gesturing me over.

"Yes my Master." I said with a sigh before jogging towards him.

"Your my roommate. Not my slave." He said groaning and walking the rest of the way down the hall. "Now come on so we don't burn any daylight."

"Daylight? In here? More like artificial light!" I said stopping by a second painting before tilting it, and continuing to the next one.

"What are you sto-... Really? You HAVE to do that?" Jed said as he was looking at me. "I swear that stupid vortex affected you more than we both realize."

"Fuck the police." I said with a huge smile, looking at Jed before tilting the third painting.

Jed just sighed and continued to walk. "Come on! It's only a few more steps to the bridge."

I looked behind me and saw a painting, although this one was stretching across the hall. I looked at it before seeing a small pen below it. I looked around quickly before picking it up and drawing a smiley face just for shits and giggles. Before throwing the pen in the air and skipping away.

I arrived at the end of the hall where Jed was waiting and sighed as I skipped over. "There you are. Come on, you won't believe this shit." He said nodding towards the door.

"Well... Is it a vampire with guns?" I asked looking at him.

"No it is not Alucard. Sorry, tomboy." Jed said smirking. Or what ever he was doing with his mandibles... I'm guessing a smirk.

"Aww crap... Alucard would be so cool to meet... And hey! I'm not a tomboy!" I said looking at Jed.

"So you are a girl then?" He said putting a talon on his chin in mock comprehension.

"Touché you single bastard." I muttered to myself, shaking my head a bit. "Okay should we do something or can I go back fucking up shit around the ship?"

"I would recommend against 'fucking up shit' on this ship." MK 13 said with a very serious tone.

"Well... Fuck." I muttered before looking at Jed and giving him a glare. "You going to stand there all fucking day or what?"

"When did someone jam a rod up your arse?" Jed said snorting and opening the door. I was thinking of something witty to say when I passed a smaller mirror, and I saw that my eyes were... Red?

"What? When did my eyes get red?" I asked myself out loud. Instead of answering Jed just grabbed my shirts collar and pulled me into the bridge.

"Come on! Check this place out!" Jed said grinning.

"Okay okay! No need to take me right here and now! Hold your ragin' boner till we get to the bedroom." I said looking at Jed.

"Yea yea what ever. You could jumped me at anytime." He said sounding a bit annoyed again. "But look at this!"

The interior was a rather cozy looking area with a two seating cockpit, one chair being in the front of the ship and a chair behind that one. Several screens were shown over the first chair in the cockpit and the second chair had several screens as well only this one had many images of weapons and munition counts. Behind that was a small round room with a metallic cylinder in the middle that had a glass half sphere resting on it.

I looked to Jed who had walked over the the cylinder in the middle of the room and was still grinning like a idiot.

"While you were doing whatever it was... I found that this ship has this." Jed clicked a button on the device he was standing next to and soon a 3D visual of the area we were in was shown in a light blue hologram.

It showed a visual of a planet we where apparently passing. "Isn't this just fucking awesome!?" Jed practically shouted.

I just gaped at the stuff, this shit was like super shiny. I just felt like touching it... "Touch." I muttered as I touched the planet hologram, It zoomed in were i had touched.

"Well I didn't expect that." I said surprised.

"I am checking out the cockpit." Jed said like he was a child in a candy store. He went to the seats in the cockpit and sat in the first one.

"Ha get it! Cock and Pit! HAHAHA!" I said laughing like a maniac.

"I am so not licenced to do any of this... BUT I DON'T CARE! Glowly things!" Jed shouted gleefully as he began to move some of the screens in front of him around. "Hey Mark! Get over here and get in the other seat!"

I stopped playing around with the planet thingy holograpichal map 3D what ever, and went over to the available seat, I sat down and looked at a screen before touching it with my finger causing lots of programs and stuff start up instantly.

"Weapons systems activated." MK13 said.

"Thaaaaat... Does not sound good." Jed said from his seat in font of me.

I noticed that a joystick with a trigger and a fire rockets button was available... Oh and why is there a eject trash button too? Who knows, maybe too lazy to actually have a trash compartment.

"Mark... Don't you dare!" Jed warned. "We don't need someone or something coming after us!"

"..." I just remained quiet before I heard Jed exhale.

"Thank god... Now what do-"

"Touch." I said pressing a random button. "Whoops."

"GOD DAMN IT MARK!" Jed shouted as several missles were sent from the ship and into space. Jed just did a double handed facepalm.. Er... facetaloned and sighed deeply. "We... Are so going to die."

"Oh please, just press the red slipspace thingyish whatever its called... FTL I believe." I said looking at all the stuff around me on the left side.

"..." Jed just remained quiet and began to sort through the screens in front of him.

I saw on the left side of the weapon's console was a personal terminal, and also a lot of other important shit that I did not have time with! Jed just continued to sort through things until her said.

"AH HA! There you are." He brought up a single image of a oddly familar destination.

"Hey is this a cannon button?! I LOVE CANNONS!" I yelled out as I smashed the button.

"Main cannon armed. Comencing firing in three... two... one..."

"Nooo, cancel that MK13" Jed said as he pushed a button on one of his screen.

"Canceling firing." MK13 responded.

"We are not wasting any munitions because you want to blow something up Mark." Jed said sounding more like he was trying to scold me.

"Yeah." I just replied casually.

"Don't. Touch. Any. Thing. Else." Jed said glaring at me then going back to his screens. "I swear to god I will lock you out of the system."

"Nnneat." I replied casually again.

"Okay that's it. Out!" Jed said getting up and picking me up. "I am locking you out of this area."

"You cheeky dickwaffle!" I said "Why are you picking me up bride style?"

"Because it's the only way to navigate this room and keep you from smashing into everything." Jed said walking out of the bridge. Then he put me down before walking back in and closing the door. A small click and something sliding was heard.

I then proceeded to skip around the ship. After a while I passed a peculiar door, namely it had "ARMORY" Above it. A instant smile was formed on my lips as I opened the door, and I must say, there was a lot of guns... That probably was the understatement of the century.

"Hello, Miss Kyota Marcino." MK13 said "May I ask why you are in the armory?"

"Oh you know, checking things out... Newest shipments, new supplies all that shit... Have anything special for me?" I asked hoping for something, and then a hatch on the wall opened up and a metal case came out held by a robot gripper.

"This is the newest weapon added to our asernal a few days ago." MK13 said. "Although there is a small problem."

"And that is?" I raised a eyebrow.

"I was given orders to keep anything that could possibly kill something out of your reach." MK13 said retracting the equipment.

"Oh fuck all kinds of duck... Who ordered that."

"The Captain. Who else?" MK13 said. "Although he worded it quite differently."

"How?" I asked a bit annoyed as I rolled my eyes.

"He used many profanities." MK13 said blunty.

"Yeah... Thats neat." I said casually as my patience was thining out.

"Although... He did specify. He forgot to mention one thing." MK13 as the encased weapon came from the wall again. "This gun may use concussive rounds."

I looked at it before just shrugging and grabbing it, I was hoping for some sort of a custom weapon forged in the dark deep undergrounds, that were super badass. But not everything can be how we want it can it?

I twirled the gun around in my finger before looking around a bit, just looking at both the rifles and snipers... Also the shotguns, the pistols... The... Portable Cannon? Oooh I must give that thing a try later.

"Shall I direct you to the shooting range?" MK13 asked.

"Yep." I said casually since I was bored.

"Right this way Miss Marcino." MK13 said creating a glowing path on the floor.

"Ookay." I said following the glowing path. After a short while of me actually walking normal I got to the range, which were three different lanes, one that was 100M somehow... another that there was 50M and the last one 10 - 20M.

"Here we are. Simply choose your lane and bring up your Omni-Tool to bring out the targets." MK13 instructed.

"Mm, yes." I said as I twirled my non-lethal gun around not really giving a fuck. I just went up to the range and did something before shooting the gun... Which had no recoil and did absolutely no damage at all. So I just threw it at the target and walked away even more bored. "I want it to be night so I can take a very enthusiastic walk through the woods." I mutterd to myself.

"Hey is this thing on?" Jed's voice sounded over a speaker.

"I Caaaan't HEAR YOU!" I yelled as I walked towards the armory again, no single clue why.

"So it is on... Right. Oi Mark! Get up here! I set us to go to a new location!" Jed said.

"No." I replied casually as I stood out side the armory.

"I take your silence as a no... So I will be coming to find you. One moment please." Jed said.

I entered the armory and looked through some lockers I saw when I was here the first time, I found some Rifles that were modified... But I did though find a button along a wall of a locker, I flipped it and a hatch. (Anti climactic.) opened on the wall, I walked over and looked at the case. It was jet black with cursive writing on it, I believe it says... Black void or something like that. I slowly took it out before gently putting it on the table in the middle of the room.

I looked at the case and saw that it still had a small lock on it... Lets just randomly enter... "A-L-U-C-A-R-D."

The case beeped and a light glowed green. I slowly opened it and what I saw almost made my eyes burst out. It was a futuristic foldable working copy off Alucard's Jackal. Modified to take special heat sinks.

"HOOREY SHEET!" I yelled out as a school girl would not... But I did squee some how...

"What did you find now?" Jed said as he entered the armory. I just remained quiet and gestured to the gun that were in front of me. "Dibs..." I muttered as he got close.

"Um... Okay? I still don't know what your 'dibbing'." Jed said as he walked up behind me. "Oh... That is what. Nice."

"This shit is like a hand cannon..." I said picking the gun up and inspecting it.

"I believe you..." Then Jed looked around for a moment before sighing. "Want to go test it out? REAL ammo this time?"

"Oh fuck the hell yes." I said in a some what seductive tone. Jed just blinked before walking out of sight and coming back with a large rifle in his talons and a very wide smile on his face.

"I think I found my dibs." He said still grinning. "I think I am going to enjoy shooting this Widow Maker."

'_Oh this is going to be so much fun._' I thought as I picked up my new 13mm Anti-freak Combat pistol and letting out a squee.

Too be continued


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER; I don't own Mass effect and all that, I only own the characters I've created.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**_(Jed's P.O.V.)_**

I was busy inspecting the rifle in my talons when I heard MK13 speak up.

"Captain. I must in form you that it was your presonal orders to keep the ammuntion from being spent." He said while I groaned. I looked to Mark before sighing.

"Uh... Cancel that order... I guess." I said unsure. 'I have no clue how this works.'

Mark just squeed holding her new gun like it was some sort of toy... Or a lover... Or a pet for that matter. Well I can't blame him, he has been obsessed with Hellsing for a while now.

"Well then. Don't ruin your new clothes in your excitement Mark." I said walking around the armory looking for ammo.

"What... How would I ruin my clothes?" Mark asked looking at me with pericing red eyes.

"And you call me clueless." I said chuckling and seeing a box with the word "AMMO" on it. "Well that's convenient."

I opened the box and saw several thermal clips stored inside. I stepped back for a moment and noticed that there were at least 20 other boxs just like it. How this ship stores all this stuff I will never know. I simply shrugged and put my rifle on the box before picking it up with a small huff.

"Found the ammo!" I said walking back over to Mark. "And we are only shooting this box. So no sneaking ammo out."

"Hmm, you said something?" Mark asked looking at a mag for hi-... Her new gun.

"Yea... I found ammo." I said again. Then I began to walk out of the armory.

"Does that box have these kinds of clips?" Mark asked showing me a normal pistol mag, instead of a … Heat sink I guess except that this magazine looked like, a heat sink just modified to fit in to the handle of the gun.

"Uh... Let me check." I said setting the box down and taking my rifle off of it. I opened up the box and frowned when I couldn't find one like that. I let out a groan and sighed. "Nope... Here let me go look again."

I walked back into the armory and begaana to search until I found a case that was like the one I just took out, only this one was black and said "Jackal" on the top instead of "AMMO".

"Found'em!" I called back as I picked the box up and walked out of the armory again.

"Yay!" Mark said skipping after me. "Dis gun be gud."

I just chuckled and put the box on top of the ammo crate I had already taken out. I put my new rifle on top of both of them and with a grunt I picked the stuff up again.

"God this stuff is heavy... Where is the shooting range?" I asked.

"Uh... MK 13 where is it?" Mark asked with a twinkle in her eye. Also a mischievous smile.

"Just follow the path I have laid out for you." MK13 said plainly. "Although I must recommend not staying in there too long. You both must get some rest if we are to arrive at the citadel in 2 days. Also I highly recommend that you both put on a set of training armor before you shoot those high powered weapons."

"I have shields! No need for that." Mark said with a dismissive hand waved.

"Where and when did you get shields?" I asked looking to her as I walked along the path.

Mark just blew a bang out of her face before looking at me and reaching in to her coat. "It was in my coat." she said pulling out a square looking thingy that was glowing blue.

"Ah... Well I am going to have to check the stock of that armory after this alright? So no fooling around." I said a bit gruffly. "And by foolign around, I mean don't touch anything MK13 says not to touch!"

"Fuck the police." Mark said skipping a head and laughing.

I just sighed and walked after her a bit slowed down because of the crates I was carrying. Soon we arrived at the shooting range and it lit up as we walked in. I saw a table a few feet away and I walked over to it before setting the crates and my rifle down on top of it.

I picked up my rifle again before looking at all the ranges. I opened the ammo crate of regular thermal clips and took several before I went the farthest range, obviously, and set up my rifle.

Mark just went to the one next to me and looked at me. Before tilting her head. "Gimmie the ammo."

"What do you mean?" I asked looking up from my rifle.

"You have all the Jackal ammo." She said again.

"I... Put it on the table." I said nodding my head towards the table. Then I pulled a slide back on my rifle and put the Thermal clip in it before letting the slide go back into place.

"Okay... Now how do I pull up a target?" I said tilting my head. Mark just walked over and brought up something orange on her arm... A omni tool, before clicking some buttons and a target appeared.

"There, oh and yeah that's you." she said laughing before walking over and grabbing some ammo.

"Oh ha ha ha... You're SOOOOO funny." I said with sarcasm dripping from my words. I lifted the rifle before aiming. "And the head goes..."

I pulled the trigger and BOOM the head of the target was gone. "YEAH!... I THINK I AM SLIGHTLY DEAF NOW!" I yelled out smiling.

"NO NEED TO YELL, CHRIST." Mark yelled annoyed.

"WHAT!?" I yelled again. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU... I THINK I NEED SOME EAR PLUGS OR SOMETHING!"

Mark just sighed and walked over to her range, she slid a magazine into the gun, aimed down the side, cocked the gun and released the safety. She then pressed a few buttons on her omni tool and a shielded target came up...

BANG.

The head was off,

"MY EAR CANALS! OR WHAT EVER I AM HEARING WITH!" I yelled out using one hand to cover the side of my head.

"Holy shit! It just went through a normal shield on one shot!... This thing is a portable handheld hand cannon!" Mark exclaimed

I just rubbed the side of my head before my hearing stopped ringing. "Ow... That's awesome dude. But I need some earmuffs or something."

"There is a complete set of ear and eye protection in the locker behind you." MK13 said as I turned around and saw a open locker.

"Oh... Grab some glasses and muffs Mark!" I said before going to the locker.

"No. I barely felt any recoil from this monster." Mark said looking hungrily at her gun.

"Riiiiiiight..." I said grabbing what looked like a helmet. I shrugged and put the helmet on before going back to my rifle. I picked it up and reloaded it before sighing. "Stupid system of Omni-tools... Ah to hell with it I will just go look for one."

"Hey, come here!" Mark said looking at me with a small smile.

"I am slightly concerned by your sudden mood shift, so I am not sure if I should." I said.

"Just come here." Mark said again with a genuine smile.

"Still unsure... But fine." I said shrugging and walking over. "What is it?"

She grabbed my arm before putting the Jackal in my hand... talon... Whatever.

"I want you to shoot this and see how much recoil you have.

"You said it doesn't have much right?" I asked as I looked at the gun.

"Don't believe so." Mark said looking at me with a grin. "I mean it shot though a standard sheild that newbies would wear."

"Eh... Okay then." I took aim with the pistol and slowly pulled the trigger.

BLAM

I didn't see what I hit because I was on the ground with a shattered visor on my helmet. "Oooooooww... What happened?"

Mark was just gawking at me looking confused. "H-How...?" She asked.

"Why is there glass on my face?" I whined. "And why does my head hurt?"

"Uh..." Mark started before crouching down next to me. "I honestly have no idea."

"Pain..." Was all I muttered out. I sat up slightly and pulled off my helmet and looked at it. It had a large rectangular shape indented in the front of it and had a shattered visor. "Well there goes my helmet."

"So... Either a very strong person... Or a vampire... I prefer the second one." Mark said then remembering something. "That would explain why I have red eyes."

"You're not a vampire." I said looking to her. "But you do make a point. You must be abnormally strong. Hate to see what happens to the guy that makes passes on you."

"Jackal to the testicle?" Mark asked with a evil grin.

"Well... That is one thing. I was more or less referring to physical violence. Not ballistic." I explained.

"Oh you are just a treat." Mark replied getting up.

"Yeah yeah... Speaking of treats... Want to go find something to eat? I am starving." I said getting up as well.

"You are not going to fire some more of your sniper thingy?" Mark asked looking a bit sad. "It was so fun to see you use that."

"That sounded... Slightly different than I think you were going for." I said walking over to my rifle. "And fine. I will shoot a bit more."

I grabbed my rifle from where I left in on the range and I held it down by my hip. "Hey Mark! Hip firing!" I joked.

I loosely aimed the rifle at the decapitated target and simply pulled the trigger.

BOOM

It recoiled not as much as I thought it would, but even better the rifle had hit the target right in the middle of the whole thing and split it in two.

"No scope!" Mark yelled out with her arms in the air cheering a bit.

"HELL YEAH!" I said fist.. Talon? Pumping in the air. "That... was strangely satisfying. Okay now I am going to go get some food."

I lowered my rifle and ejected the thermal clip before walking towards the door. "Want to come and eat or what?" I asked Mark.

"Hmm, sure!" Mark said before sliding out her used magazine out of the jackal, before sliding in a new one and pressing a button on the side. The jackal then folded up in to a small box with a grip on it. "Well... Thats convenient." Mark said as she tucked it in one of her pockets.

"Huh... I wonder." I looked at my rifle and clicked a button before it folded up the same only it was still as large as my forearm.

"Eh.. .still better than carrying a 4 ft rifle." I shrugged and sighed. "Wish I had some armor or something so I could just clip this to my back."

"Just leave it here, its not like someone is going to steal it." Mark said shrugging.

"Hmm I want to try something first." I flipped the rifle around for a moment before pressing it against my belt and letting go to watch it drop and hang off my belt. "Ha! That looks ridiculous. Alright now that that is cleared up... Food?"

"Yes! Which way to the living room-area-kitchen-house-whatever." Mark asked quickly with a eyebrow raised.

"Do you mean the mess hall?" MK13 asked.

"Why do I get the feeling MK13 is being a bit of a smart ass?" I whispered to Mark.

"Why are you all of a sudden so close?" Mark whispered back, totally ignoring my question. I blinked before jumping back realizing how close I was to her.

"Uh... Heh heh. Sorry." I said sheepishly.

"Right..." Mark muttered. "Anyhow yes! Whatever your computer name was!"

"It's MK13. Please follow the path." MK13 said as the floor lit up again.

"Well... Shall we?" I said walking out.

"Thats a fine arse you have." Mark said from behind me before skipping to catch up.

"What!?" I almost shouted getting VERY flustered very fast. "Why are you checking me out!?"

"Oh y'know being the only male counter-part... I ought to have some fun." Mark said in a sultry voice... with a lot of well suductiveness, as she now had passed in front of me.

"Yeeeeeah... I don't know if you're joking or not... And Frankly. That scares me." I said as I was still walking. Mark just started laughing maniacly before disappearing around a corner. "Right."

I just shook my head and followed after her. As I walked around the corner I watched as a door opened to reveal a nice looking kitchen like area with Mark rummaging through the fridge.

"Wow... Couldn't even wait." I said walking over. Mark just looked out from the fridge and at me.

"What?" She said looking at me with confusion in her eyes.

"Nothing. Come on move aside so I can see what's in there." I said walking over to the fridge.

"No... I don't want to." Mark said going back to rummaging in the fridge.

"Oh come on!" I said as I got to the fridge. "You're not the only one here who is hungry."

"Nope." Mark said in a playful tone. I shook my head and sighed.

"Oh for the love of god. Just let me grab a drink then." I said.

"Nu-uh." Mark said blocking of the fridge.

"You are going to be the end of me you know that?" I said rubbing my forehead with my ha- Talon.

Mark just looked over the shoulder with a smile... And is that a slight blush. "Why is your eyes so... Low aimed?" she asked me.

"Huh?..." I said until I realized what she meant and blushed light crazy. "OH my god! I am so sorry!"

Mark just closed up the fridge and walked away with a blush. With a weird look on her face too, she sat down on the couch not far from the kitchen area. I just sighed and went to the fridge. I opened it up and crouched down to look at what was in it.

Mostly a bunch of weired fruit, plants, and what I think was meat. "Um... What is this stuff?" I said out loud before spotting something to drink.

They were just a couple of bottles and they looked like soda. With a shrug I grabbed one and opened it before taking a drink. In a split second, my eyes snapped open and I spat the stuff out and gagged a bit.

"Oh god what the fuck is this stuff!?" I said standing up and looking at the bottle.

"I have no idea..." Mark said with a bit of a shaky voice before coughing some.

I hacked out my lungs for a second before clearing my throat and looking at the bottle. It just said grape soda. "What!? This isn't soda... Mark come here and tell me if this is soda." I said still looking at the bottle.

Mark just looked at me from behind her bangs before walking over and grabbing the soda. "Uh... you sure you want to drink this? Its not meant for turians..." Mark said looking at the bottle.

I just face palmed and sighed. "I should have known... For fuck's sake. What CAN I eat."

"Um... Why are you asking me?" Mark asked putting her hands behind her back.

"I don't know... I am just tired, hungry and my head still hurts from that stupid recoil." I said groaning as I rubbed my forehead again. I walked over to the fridge again and then began to look. "So I can pretty much eat anything that DOESN'T look like human food. Is that what you are saying?"

"B-But... Uh..." Mark said... or at least tried too. She grabbed her throat and started coughing violently.

"Woah what's up with you?" I said looking up from the fridge and turning to looked at her.

"My throat is burning up... Tried to drink something but it didn't help." She just manadged to say that above a whisper.

"Well... Maybe Mk13 can help?" I more asked than said.

"Feel free to ask him." Mark stated. I shook my head and sighed... 'Man I am sighing a lot.'

"Yo! MK13. Can you figure out what's wrong with Mark?" I asked.

"Of course. I will need to have her go to the medical bay so that I may scan her." MK13 said. I shurgged and smiled, or well think I smiled.

"There you go! Shall we go to the med bay and figure out what's up with you?" I said.

"No … No we shall not!" Mark said sarcasticly, but started coughing a bit. "Okay fine."

"Right... I am not going to end up carrying you am I?" I said walking towards the door.

"Maybe." Mark said looking at me, before walking after. I chuckled and smiled, or tried to, again.

"Alright then. Let's go! Allons-y!" I said pointing dramatically out the door.

"Wha?" Mark just gave me a confused look before coughing a little more.

"Uh it's french for... Oh never mind." I said and walking out. MK13 was kind enough to make a path for us to follow again and thankfully this was still a small ship. Soon we arrived at a door with a red cross on it. "Oh how cliche..."  
"Huh, never thought about that." Mark said silently as she was leaning against me.

"Well come on, let's get you inside and find out what the hell is wrong with ya." I said as the door opened to reveal a.. Well to be honest it looked like a doctor's office with a bunch of high tech stuff in it. "Alright MK12. Where does Mark need to go to be scanned for this cough of hers."

"Just let her lay on the table and I will begin the scan." MK13 said as a small camera thing came out of the ceiling above a examination table.

"W-what?" Mark asked looking at the table. "This some how sounds very close to rape."

"You said that when I took you to the doctor last week." I said walking her over to the table. "And besides. How can a machine rape you?"

"You don't want to know." Mark said with a slight blush, yet again I don't know why.

"You're right. I don't." I said as we got to the table. "Well? You gonna hop on or am I going to lift you up?"

"No... This seems creepy as fuck." Mark said shaking her head. "Nope, not gonna." She said turning around to walk out. I just sighed and grabbed her before piccking her up and putting her on the table.

"Just relax and this will be over faster than you know it." I said trying to reassure her. "That... didn't help at all, did it?."

"No." Mark said shaking her head with a furious blush on her face. "You are pinning me down to a table... Almost on top of me... See where I'm going?" she asked.

"I am not on to-... Oh god damn it." I said letting go and getting off the table. "What is wrong with me today? Anyways... MK13 do whatever it was you were going to do."

"Affimitave." MK13 said as a sudden blue glow covered the table and several screens popped up in front of me. I just stared blankly at the screens and yawned.

"Yeah I have no bloody clue what is going on here." I said shrugging. "It's like something do with your throat and arms... That's all I am getting."

Mark just laid still on the table before yawning. "This thing was surprisingly comfy."

"And you said it was going to rape you." I said chuckling. "Alright MK13 what's up with Mark?"

"It appears Marcino have a throat burn... and her cybernetic enhancement's in the arms have some repairing to be done... Everything else seems fine... She has the next menstruation cycle in three weeks."

"What the fuck MK13?! I didn't need to know that!" I shouted at the machine.

"Well there is no need to yell Captain." MK13

"Smart ass..." I muttered. "Alright so we take Mark to a doc when we reach the citadel?"

"Just gimmie painkillers damn it!" Mark shouted before cringing. "Owie."

"I am sorry, but this ship is only equipped with immunity medicines and medicines to help the crew go to sleep." MK13 stated.

Mark just sat up and looked at a Medigel dispencer on the wall. "Well... how about medigel?"

"That could work but it will only last a day." MK13 said.

"It should help it blow over... Ha!" Mark said before trying to laugh, which failed miserably.

"Sooo... How does that stuff get administrated?" I asked MK13.

"Simply apply the gel to the area on the body that is affected and it will do the rest." MK13 instructed.

"Huh... Well go get your medigel then." I said looking to Mark. "What are you waiting for?" Mark was... Sleeping... Really?

I just sighed and shook her shoulder a bit. "Oi! Marky girl. Wake up."

Mark just kept sleeping and swatting a hand at my face and she was also groaning. I sighed and went to the dispenser before opening it up and taking a tube of the medigel. Then walking back to Mark, I opened up the tube before putting a decent glob of the stuff in my talon.

"I swear to god Mark if you are just doing this to scare me I am going to give a lot worse than some stupid throat burn." I muttered to myself. I then used my other talon and began to take small amounts of the stuff and gently spread it across Mark's neck.

"BOOH!" Mark yelled jumping up a bit.

"AAAAAH!" I said falling backwards and throwing the medigel tube at Mark. She just caught the tube with a huge evil smile before laughing her ass off.

"You really are a bitch!" I said angrily. I got up and groaned a bit before walking out of the medical bay or what ever it was called. Of course soon Mark came skipping out just as happy as ever.

"Tihihihi. That was fun."

"Oh shut up." I said before waking back to the bridge. "You know I hate it when you do that."

"He, I know you love it." Mark said skipping a head of me before taking a left instead of a right.

"No I don't." I said gruffly before heading to the bridge. "I am going to thee brdige for a bit. If you need me I will be there."

"Sure, I think I found a TV... So I'm just going to plant myself there." Mark said skipping down the hall. I just shook my head and continued to the front of the ship. As I got there I went in and began to fool around with the Holographic thingy.

When ever a planet would come up a I would click on it and just spin the planet around or zoom in, Or simply let MK13 ramble on about it. "God this is so boring..." I muttered. "And I am still hungry!"

With a groan I began to leave the bridge and head back to the mess hall. I got there about 10-20 minutes later, I don't know. I don't have a watch. I finally got there and went to the fridge before looking around and FINALLY seeing something I could eat and drink. Pretty much looked like Chinese food only... Discolored.

I heard a loud snore from some where, plus some music it sounds like calming piano music. I walked around the corner before seeing Mark laying on her stomach on the couch with her Omni-Tool playing music. I spaced out(HA get it?) for a moment before grinning evilly,still don't know how I am doing it, and going back to the kitchen. I saw several buttons on the fridge, one of which said 'Ice'.

I pressed that button and several ice cubes were ejected in a small little cup thing. I grabbed the ice and walked back over to Mark. Still grinning my evil grin, I gently lifted the back of her shirt and coat. until I just simply placed the ice on her bare back and walked back to the kitchen and waited for the fireworks to go off.

It took a few seconds before well, she literally flew of the couch. "OH GOD THIS IS COLD!" She screamed out.

Needles to say I fell to the ground laughing. "Oh god that is funny! Hahahaha!" I was litteraly ROFLing at that moment and holding my sides in pain. "My sides! That shit was the best!"

I stopped laughing just long enough for me to get up off the ground before I continued my laughter. 'Seeing Mark freak out like that always makes me laugh my ass off.'

Mark just put on a pout and said. "I just had fallen asleep too."

I was still laughing until it went to a simple continuous chuckle. "Yeah... Well, I told you I hate being scared, so that's my revenge!" I said before chuckling even more. "Now... Now we are even."

Mark just shrugged before laying down on her back after fixing her clothes, she then yawned and closed her eyes.

"I don't see why you are so sleepily. We literally woke up not a few hours ago." I said walking back into the kitchen and grabbing my Turian food. 'This stuff does not look that tasty.'

I heard Mark mutter something... but not so clearly. "Yeah what ever you say." I said as I walked over and moved her legs so I could sit down.

"Oh come on! I'm trying to sleep here!" Mark complained with a pout. I just chuckled and pulled out a fork, or some fork looking utesil, and began to eat whatever it was I was eating.

I was slightly surprised to find it tasted like chicken... But then anything new I have ever tried tasted like chicken. I shrugged and continued to eat. I tried the drink and.. Well it tasted like soda... just one I had never tasted before. I smacked my lips... Or mandibles what ever they were and sighed.

"Well at least it doesn't taste like crap." I said looking at the food. Mark instead of having her head against the arm rest on the side of the couch, she had now spun around and had her head in my lap. "Whaaaat are you doing?"

"You moved my fucking legs you asshole. It was a pain to spin around to, so just fucking sit still and let me sleep." Mark said annoyed.

"Whatever... Where is that TV? If I am stuck here as your pillow I am at least going to watch TV." I said.

"There." She said pointing to the wall the couch was facing.

"Oh... Kinda strange I didn't see it when I walked in." I said.

"It's built into the wall." Mark explained.

"Ah. That explains it." I looked around until I found a TV remote on the arm of the couch, so I picked it up and clicked the power button till the news channel popped up. "Well it's better than nothing." And I continued to eat my food.

Soon enough I heard that Mark had fallen asleep giving away a light snore. I shook my head and set my finished off food dish onto the table next to the couch and sighed as I picked up the remote again and switched to a random channel. I was soon watching something like boxing, but instead it was with some weird sticks or something. I switched the channel again and this time ended up on some stupid talk show.

I sighed and turned the TV off before staring at the ceiling and sighing. "Now I know why Mark went to sleep." I muttered as I felt myself getting sleepy as well. I let out a small yawn and closed my eyes as I let the world of sleep take me away. '_This... Has been one hell of a day._'

Too be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(_Mark's P.O.V._)

I was again, floating around in my empty void of darkness, I looked around and stretched some. "Ah..." I mused out as I was floating around on what felt like a cloud. I kept my eyes closed inside my head before I started hearing a voice.

"Hey guys! How's your health plan?" The voice asked to someone unknown, who seemingly panicked and had a weapon in his hands, through his panic he pulled the trigger and fired on the bearer of the voice.

"Apparently it's great!" The voice said gruffly before spinning around and shooting the poor bastard right in the chest, causing a huge hole to appear where his heart would be. There was a lot of other guys in the same hall with him, they all opened fire at the same time trying to hit one guy.

Right as one of the greatest scenes were coming to life in my head, I was stirring to life. Again by a headache.

"God damn it." I muttered to myself as I sat up. I looked around and saw that Jed still was asleep and that I was on the couch. "Hmm." I mused as I got up and walked over to the fridge.

I opened and rummaged before finding a drink, which of course was orange juice, which probably is a good drink to drink when you are bored. I also found butter, some ham and tomatoes.

"Huh." I said to myself as I grabbed all of those Items and put them on a counter behind me. I then looked around for some bread in the cabinets and found it rather fast, I then quickly made myself a glass of orange juice and a ham tomato sandwich. I then put the juice package back into the fridge before picking up the glass of juice and my ham tomato sandwich and walking back to the couch.

I took a bite of the sandwich and slowly chewed it before swallowing, I sighed and drank some juice and realized how much I actually love orange juice.

"Holy fuck this tastes like heaven." I said quietly, not wanting to wake Jed up. I drank some more before putting the glass down and taking another bite out of my sandwich. I chewed it and swallowed before standing up holding the sandwich and picking up the glass of juice, I walked around eating my sandwich, occasionally taking a sip of my orange juice. After I swallowed the rest of my sandwich, I quickly gulped down my orange juice and went back to the kitchen.

While I walked back into the kitchen I heard someone make a rather obnoxiously loud yawn from the couch.

"Ah, oh god that was a nice nap." Jed said from the couch.

I just shook my head before arriving at the counter, I put down the glass there and opened up my Omni-tool, I then started up some music. Which happened to be 'Rock you like a hurricane' by the Scorpions, from my metal playlist.

"See you also fell asleep." I said as I had the music on a pretty low level of sound. Jed just walked in stretching and sighed.

"What can I say? You're like a puppy. When I see you sleeping it makes me sleepy." He said with a shrug.

"Well, that's... Flattering?" I asked looking at him with a eyebrow raised. He just shrugged again.

"Take it anyway you want. But I finally found something I can eat sooo... Noms." He said walking over to the fridge.

"Mighty fine arse." I said looking at the sink, I grabbed my now empty glass of juice and turned on the tap.

"Stop checking me out. I maybe be in a different body, but I ain't different mentally." Jed said as he rummaged through the fridge.

"I have this weird ass feeling that I'm feminine as fuck... Care to explain?" I asked with amusement in my voice, before I filled my glass with water. Jed just sighed and looked at me for a second before saying.

"You have tits and no dick... That might be the case." He gave a small chuckle and went back to his fridge raiding.

"No 'nice tits' comment in there somewhere?" I said making my face feeling a little bit warmer and the glass was now full water. So I stopped the tap and drank all of the water before putting down the glass again.

"What? You want me to say that?" Jed said from inside the fridge.

"N-Nooo... Okay maybe." I said hesitantly. Jed just took his head out of the fridge and staared fro a moment before laughing for a few seconds until he stopped and cleared his throat.

"You're... You're serious aren't you?" He said as one of his.. Eyebrows? Raised.

I just kept looking at the tap, to avoid his gaze. "I dunno it just feels like I need a compliment or something... I don't know." I said shaking my head a bit. Jed jsut kept looking for a moment before shrugging and saying.

"Alright... You have nice tits." Before going back to the fridge and continued to raid the food.

Suddenly my face felt like a volcano, I tore away my gaze from the tap before walking back to the couch and starting the tv, might I add I was still somehow blushing. I looked through the channels to see if there was anything good on.

"Did you die or.. Oh you went to the Tv." Jed said from the kitchen. Soon he came back out with some drink and a bowl of some chinese looking food. "What'cha watching?"

I was looking at the TV, lost in my thoughts before I snapped back to reality and noticed that... It was sponge bob on the TV. What the fuck? Just a few hundred years into the future and Spongebob is still on air? Well... Damn.

"Spongebob." I said looking at the TV with surprise. Jed just snorted in disbelief and sat down next to me.

"That's funny... Thought that is would have gone off the air by now." He said as he began to eat.

I looked at Jed and noticed that he was sitting pretty close to me, I scooted bit away from him. Before looking at the TV again and flipped through some channels. I found some channel with apparently, old vids. The one that was Airing right now was, Wild Wild West.

"Holy shit, it's been awhile since I've seen this." I said looking at the TV with slight disbelief. Jed simply hummed a bit as he was eating.

"This movie is from... 1999?" I asked after pressing the info button on the remote and reading a bit. "This thing must be a relic or something."

"Or just a really really old film." Jed said snickering. "Wonder what they have for new cinema."

"Hopefully not Twilight movies..." I said cringing a bit. Jed just made a gagging motion and glared at me.

"Hey I don't want to spew what I can actually eat. So none of that dirty talk while I am eating." Jed said taking another bite of his food. Then he looked at me before saying. "Why are you blushin'?"

"W-What?" I said looking at him quickly before looking away. "I'm not blushing!"

"Dude... If this room was dark you would be like a night light." Jed said deadpanning.

"S-Stop lying!" I blurted out trying to grow smaller, which inevitably failed.

"Why would I be lying to you?" Jed said tilting his head. "All I said was you're blushing."

"U-Uh... W-Wha?" I asked in confusion, scooting away more from Jed.

"Why are you scooting away? Do I have the plague?" Jed said looking at his han-.. Talon.

"No-... I mean Y-yeah! Thats totally it!" I said awkwardly not looking into his eyes.

"Huh... Well that sucks." Jed said. "Eh... Might as well enjoy my food before I die then, right?"

I gave out a small awkward chuckle before scooting away a little bit more, I infact had scooted away so far that I hit the arm support of the couch. Jed all the while was still just eating and watching the TV.

"Wonder if the new stuff is in 3D." Jed mused. I just exhaled a deep breath I didn't know I was holding, I then look at the TV, thinking of a few things I would love to watch. That's when Jed decided to be a ass and do something stupid.

He scooted over to me extremely fast and yelled out. "YOU'RE BLUSHING!" Of course I leaned back with a almost terrified look on my face... Probably, I had my eyes closed and my arms were covering my chest for some reason, since I was basically pinned against the arm support. Jed just leaned off and began to laugh and cackle like a maniac.

"That was fuckin' priceless!" He said in between laughs. "Oh my god your face! HAHA!"

I slowly opened an eye and noticed that Jed had scooted away and I was just looking weird. "Dick move." I muttered as I exhaled again.

"Oh you would have done the same..." Jed said nudging me with his elbow. "Besides it was funny!"

"At my expense." I muttered looking at the TV, a bit annyoed.

"Also I was trying to get to stop blushing, but that backfired... you're redder than a cherry now." Jed said smirking. I lost control over myself and punched him in the chest before angrily standing up and walking away Jed just coughed for a second before saying. "OH come on!... You're not embarrassed are you?"

"S-Shut up! You idiot!" I yelled at him before walking down a unknown corridor. Before I was out of hearing range I heard him yell.

"Sounds like someone has a crush!" He yelled before some cackling was heard. I threw my arms up in the air in frustration before turning up the music to a very loud level. Currently, 'Find my heaven' by Power Quest was playing.

I exhaled deeply before walking down the corridor, looking around thinking on his words. "I can't possibly have developed a crush under less than two hours could I?"

"Oh hello Marcino." MK13 said over an intercom.

"AH! Jesus fuck!" I yelled in surprise. "Jesus don't do that."

"My apologies. I was simply going to inform you that you are at the stargazing deck." MK13 said.

"What?" I said a bit confused. I then let his words sink in and asked. "Where do I go to watch the stars?" I asked a bit dumbly.

"What else would a Star Gazing deck be used for?" MK13 inquired.

"Well... Intimate relations?" I asked MK13, with a slight blush.

"That could work, although the only passengers on this ship are you and the Captain." MK13 stated.

"What? You are meaning that me and him? Oh no, no, no, noooo! I was jus-" I said awkwardly.

"I was simply inquiring-" MK13 started.

"What?" I asked again. "You were just stating what?"

"I was stating the a answer to one of you questions. Simply that." Mk13 said. "Also... May I inquire as to why your facial region is warmer than normal?"

I just facepalmed before walking over to a door, it slid opened and showed a huge window, which was pointed out so you could see the infinite void of space, and all the beauty that comes with it. We were currently passing by a nebula, the colors were amazingly intertwined with each other, green, blue and some red all meeting together in a nebula. There was a lot of twinkling stars, causing my crimson eyes to glitter in the twinkles they produced.

"Woah..." I was all that I managed to say before walking over and sitting down on a couch that were directed in the window's way, I kept staring out the window in amazement, since to be honest... It's pretty hard to get another chance like that.

"Would you like me to inform the Captain you will be here for a while?" MK13 said.  
"Y-Yeah... I'm going to be stuck here for quite the while." I muttered out before turning to watch the stars pass by, of course seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours. Time just seemingly flew by as I watched the stars in amazement.

"Marcino?" MK13 said.

"Yeeeah?" I asked not tearing my eyes of the view.

"The Captain is wondering why you have not left this room." MK13 said. "He is getting rather worried from the tone of his voice."

"Uh... I... Like the view." I whispered out, before I tore my eyes away from the view and noticed a book shelf. I got up albeit, very shakily since I'd been sitting here for... "Hey MK 13... How long have I've been in here?"

"You have been in this room for exactly: 6 hours, 34 minutes, and 32 seconds." MK13 stated.

I felt my jaw pretty much hit the floor. "Six hours?!" I almost yelled because of the disbelief I had in my head, I as I was standing still I dropped to the floor because one of my muscles were cramping up. "Owww..." I whined.

"What is wrong Marcino?" MK13 asked.

"I'm having muscle cramps... But I'll be fine." I said, from the floor.

"Shall I send for the Captain to come and help?" MK13 said.

"I'm j-just fine." I said getting up and slightly limping over to the bookshelf, where amazingly, Full Metal Alchemist the manga was. I stared at it in disbelief for a few seconds before picking the first book.

"I would be careful with those. They are antiques." MK13 stated.

"Got it." I said nodding with a small smile. "It was along time ago since I read these." I said to myself. I limped back to the couch and sat down and leaned against the arm support.

"Should I request the Captain to bring some food and drink to the Star Gazing deck?" MK13 inquired.

"Yeah... That would be nice." I said flipping open the first page of the book. I read it with a nostalgic smile on my face, after around the 20th page I heard the door open.

"So this is where you have been hiding for eight hours." Jed said from the door.  
I was slightly startled by the sound of Jeds voice but quickly got over it. "Yeah, this place has the best view." I said looking up from my book and out the window.

"Yeah... It actually does... Brought ya some food by the way. Had to cook it, but it's not burnt sooo... Yeah." Jed said walking over. I just let out a small giggle, which was ment to be a chuckle but my female body had other thoughts.

"Its okay, no need to worry." I said with a smile.

"Not worry?" Jed said putting on a mock parental voice. "I was worried sick about you! Oh the tissues I used drying my tears of misery and pain!"

I let out a laugh at that and shook my head. "You always know how to keep peoples spirits up." I said looking at Jed, I then quickly glanced at my Omni-tool and noticed that it had switched playlists from Metal to Chillstep... Somehow.

"Well I brought you some dinner. It's uh. Chicken breast and rice with a nice salad on the side." Jed said walking over with a tray in his hands... Talons. "Oh and a soda."

"Aww, that's so thoughtful of you." I said in a gentle voice, before snapping to attention. "How did I do that?" I asked both him and myself, as I have no clue how I control my voice properly.

He just shrugged and set the food down on a table next to the couch. "Eh... There you go I guess... Well I am off to go find something else I can eat that doesn't taste just like chicken!" He said beginning to leave.

"Feel free to join me here..." I said quietly before sitting properly and picking up a fork.

"Eeeh... Sure why not?" He said then walking over and sitting down and pulling out a bottle of... something. I felt this odd feeling in my chest... It felt warmer somehow, and more happy.

I took a few bites out of my chicken and chewed before swallowing, I then opened the soda and poured me a glass of it. I looked over to Jed who was sitting there staring out the window.

"Amazing isn't it?" I asked quietly. Jed just opened his drink and took a swig before nodding.

"Yeah... Better than Tv at least." He said with a small chuckle. I quickly finished my plate and salad, I then drank some of my soda. Before leaning against Jed, who seemed a bit startled at my contact.

"Woah... When did you get all touchy feely?" He said look at me.

"I'm just tired... Take it easy." I said looking out the window again.

"Ooookay?" He said unsure before looking out the window again. "Wonder why there aren't any planets flying by..."

"We aren't in a solar system I guess." I said before sighing. "Ugh, this whole ordeal is really just annoying."

"Tell me about it... I thought I lost my dick when I went to the bathroom earlier." Jed said chuckling again. "Thank god MK13 told me different."

"Unluckily for me, I actually got mine replaced by well, a pussy and some fine tits." I said a bit tiredly... But I still somehow managed to lightly blush and Jed just had to point it out.

"You blushing again." He said taking another drink of his strange turian drink. I then got a evil idea, I looked at Jed before dragging my hand along his thigh slowly going upwards.

"WOW too close buddy!" Jed said moving away. "That was a bit too close for comfort."

"You are blushing." I pointed out. "You sure you didn't want it?" I asked with half lidded eyes.

"Pretty sure..." Jed said before looking back out the window. "You may be a girl, but I ain't going to do that with ya."

I just laughed a bit at him, before scooting close to him again and leaning against him looking out the window. He just sighed and took another drink from his drink and said.

"So what's our plan?" he looked to me with a curiosity in his eyes. I was contemplating if it was a good time to freak him out with a kiss, or actually tell him something. I just looked back into his eyes which were twinkling silverish in the light that was coming from the window. We stayed like that for a few minutes.

"What you gonna kiss me or something?" Jed asked jokingly. You know what, fuck it. I just launched myself at him and basically pressed my lips against his, it felt odd at first but happy towards the end. Jed was just completely numb at this point and wasn't really doing anything and was wide-eyed.

I had closed my eyes, and when I broke the kiss I slowly opened my eyes and awkwardly scooted away from him. "Uh... Sorry."

Jed just stared off for a second before shaking his head and looking to me with disbelief in his eyes. "What was that!?" He shouted.

I flinched at his tone and scooted away from him more. "Sorry!" I said with some tears building up. "Don't know what came over me."

He just stared off for a moment before groaning and slumping against the couch with his talons over his face. "God damn it... What the fuck is going on!?" He shout at the end. He just sighed deeply before getting up and walking to the door. "I uh.. I got to go check the... thing."

"I-I'm sorry!" I said slumping and holding my face in my hands. Jed just groaned and walked back over.

"It's fine, I just need... Some time to think about what just happened." He said before walking over to the door again. "I will be on the bridge or cockpit. Whatever you want to call it."

I just shook my head and almost started sobbing. "Now I dun goofed."

"Shall I keep communications up?" MK13 said finally speaking up.

"No thank you." I said quietly.

"Alright. Cutting communications around the ship." MK13 said before something beeped. "Will there be anything else?"

"No-... Yes, lock the door. Please." I said with a shaky voice.

"May I ask why?" MK13 responded.

"I would like to be alone."

"Does that mean for me to go as well?" MK13 asked.

"Yes." I said quietly in a shaky voice.

"Alright Marcino. Just call me on your Omni-Tool if you require something and the door may be unlocked from the inside. Goodnight." MK13 said as the doors make a sudden sliding sound and something clicked behind the doors.

"What have I done?" I asked myself as tears started slowly rolling down my cheek. I put my hands on my face before starting to sob out loud. I slowly moved into a fetal position before muttering through sobs. "I'm so stupid."

Too be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

(_Jed's P.O.V._)

I was just walking around the ship trying to figure out what had happened in the few short minutes I was in the Star Gazing whatever is was. I sighed and kept playing the scene over and over in my head. Yeah I knew exactly what happened, but I was somewhat crossed. To make matters even worse, I felt like a complete dick for the way I acted.****

"Ugh... I... Am such a ass." I muttered to myself as I walked down the hallway. I played the scene over in my head again and just groaned as I remembered how sad and frightened when I had yelled and stormed out like a 5 year old. I sighed and shook my head again before I arrived at the Bridge and walked inside.****

"Yo! MK13! How much more time till we get to the Citadel?" I asked.

"26 hours, sir." MK 13 replied.

"Right... Hey.. How is Mark doing?" I asked a bit worried.

"She requested to be alone, so I have no idea how she is right now." MK replied.

"Why do I feel as if you were programmed to be a smart ass?" I muttered.

"Its because you programmed me, Sir." MK13 said.

"Of bloody course." I said. "Well is there any reason to worry on our ride to the Citadel?"

"When we get close to the Mass relay you will have to steer the ship, since you have locked me out of the steering mechanism of the ship." MK13 stated.

"Dare I ask why I did that?" I said.

"You did that from the start, sir. Said something about me not ramming us into a astroid."

"Right right... Well. Shit." I said. "Ugh I guess I will be at the shooting range... But first. Is there any where on this ship I might find a Omni-Tool or and I gonna have to wait until we get to the Citadel?"

"I don't know... Should I run the search parameter?" MK 13 asked.

"That would be nice." I said trying not to be sarcastic.

"Got it this should only take a second." MK 13 said before adding. "There is one in the armory, although its a very standard one."

"Could I tinker around with it and possibly upgrade it?" I asked.

"Negative, there is too many failsafes and blockers for that, you would have to buy a better one on the Citadel or our black market terminal." MK 13 said.

I sighed and walked out of the bridge. "Alright it will have to do for now."

I walked around till I found the armory and walked inside before searching around for a few minutes. After about a good ten minutes, I found the damned thing and latched it onto my right arm. "There... At least I can operate that damned firing range now." I said walking out and taking my folded rifle off my hip.

"Sir, may I inquire why your hormone levels are spiking?"

"No reason MK13. Just leave it alone." I said gruffly before looking around. "Where is the firing range again?"

"Right this way, Sir." MK 13 said as a path was glowed up on the floor. I nodded and followed the path before finding the range again. I sided and clicked the rifle as it unfolded itself and I went to the table were me and Mark had left the ammo. I picked up a few more clips before walking over to the range and queuing up a target. I loaded up the rifle before taking aim and pulling the trigger.

BLAM.

I had not hit on target, but I did hit the target right where the neck was and the head flew off. I sighed and reloaded the gun. I shot again and missed completely.

"AUGH! What is wrong with me today!?" I yelled out and slammed my fist against the table. I sighed and slumped against the wall. "This day... Just sucks."

"May I inquire why it 'sucks', Sir?"

"Just everything MK. Just everything." I said setting my rifle on the table and walking out. "What's the... Oh nevermind. Where is the Star Gazing deck again? I got something to say to Mark."

"Right this way, Sir." MK13 said as he lit up the path. "But, Sir, If you want to get in you will probably have to knock on the door. She requested to be alone and I respect that wish."

"I will knock first, but if she doesn't open the door you will open it. Is that clear?" I said following the path.

"No Sir, my audio receptors were scrambled, care to repeat yourself?" MK 13 said.

"I said I will knock first, but if she doesn't open the door, I would like it if you would open it for her. I have something I would like say that I don't want to say through a piece of metal... No offense." I said as I turned a corner.

"What was that?" MK 13 asked again with a hint of amusement in his robotic voice.

"MK I will pull you from the ship's systems and set everything up manually." I growled out.

"Shutting up, Sir."

"Thank you. Now go uh... Do whatever it is you do in your free time." I said as I turned another corner.

"Got it, Sir." MK 13 said as the glowing path stopped glowing. I stopped and facepalmed... Or taloned.

"Mk... Please leave the path up." I said rubbing my forehead.

"Very well, Sir." MK13 said with a hint of amusement in his robotic voice, again. I groaned as he pulled the path back up and I began to follow it until I found the door.

"Now you may drop the path MK." I said as I stepped to the door. I walked up to the door and raised my Talon to knock, but stopped for a second. I stayed like that for a few minutes before finally taking a deep breath and knocking on the door. "Hello? Anyone in there?"

"Go away!" Mark yelled from inside the room. I winced at her tone before knocking again.

"Come on open up! I want to apologize." I said.

"No! Go away!" Mark yelled from the other side with a shaky voice.

"Mark just open the damned door!" I yelled getting a bit annoyed.

"No."

"Mark... Don't make me open the door myself." I warned.

"What do you want anyways? You probably just want to yell at me again!"

"If I was going to yell I wouldn't want to be in the room now would I? I would just yell from here." I said. "And like I said I wanted to apologize."

"J-Just go away."  
**  
**I took a step back from the door before saying. "MK open the door please."

"Okay, Sir." MK13 said as the door opened up.

"Thank you MK." I said as I walked through the door. I stood there for a moment before making my way over to the couch. "Hey Mark."

Mark was just sitting in a fetal position, with her face buried in her knees quietly sniffling. "S-stop. Don't come any closer." She said with a very sharp tone. I stopped for moment before I just sighed and walked around the couch and sat on the opposite side of her.

"Just wanted to say sorry." I muttered out looking out the window with my talons folded neatly in my lap. She looked up from her knees and looked at me. She glared daggers at me for awhile before sniffling some more. "Sooo... I guess. Um. I'm Sorry. For uh, flipping out like that."

"I-It's okay I guess... I'm sorry for uh... Kissing you... B-bro." Mark said cringing a bit.

"I don't think it would be appropriate to call each other bro now huh?" I said slightly chuckling. "Now that.. This." I said gesturing to both of us. "Has happened."

"W-What?" She looked at me. "What do you mean?"

"Well I mean look at us! You're a girl and I am well this." I said gesturing to myself. "I mean what would other people and aliens think? I mean imagine hearing this: 'Hey did you see that girl call that turian a bro?'." I said in a funky high pitched voice.

Mark just laughed a sad laugh at me. "You are so weird sometimes."

"Well I am me!" I said shrugging. "What are ya gonna do?"

"I-I don't know." She said sadly.

"Oh come on... I am sorry I acted all bent out of shape. And considering that punch you gave me in the kitchen I wouldn't be surprised if I have a rib or two dented." I said chuckling a bit and rubbing the spot she punched. "Still sore by the way."

"What?" She said tilting her head.

"I said you blushed and you punched me." I said laughing a bit. "I swear I have a baseball sized bruise now."

"Heh, Um... Sorry about that..." Mark said sitting properly, still a bit sad she laid herself down on the couch.

"Ah it's fine... Just glad you didn't aim higher... Or lower." I said slightly shuddering at the thought.

She grabbed a pillow and laid her chin on it and looked out the window again, making the air become very, silent and filled with tension. I just coughed a bit and sighed as I leaned back against the couch.

"MK I swear if you make any snide remarks I am going to kill you." I muttered.

"Her hormone levels are spiking too, in her genetalial area too... meaning she wants you, Sir." MK 13 said.

"That's it. I am deleting you." I said groaning and facetaloning.

Mark just blushed and buried her face in the pillow she was resting her chin on. And mumbled something.

"Hmm?" I hummed as I looked at her.

"Nothing." She said as she looked up from her pillow. "Actually I'll sleep here tonight. If it's O-okay by you."

"Why would you need my permission? It's where you sleep, not what equipment you take on a mission." I said chuckling again. "You sleep where you want. I, however, and going back to that soft bed."

"This couch was surprisingly soft, and this place feels comfy." She said quietly.

"Alright then. I will grab you a blanket then." I said standing up. "Uhm.. But that begs the question. Where are the blankets?"

"They are in the dresser next to the bookshelf, Sir." MK13 stated.

"I hate how he continually says sir... But thank you MK." I said as I walked over and grabbed a blanket out of the dresser. Then I walked over and just draped the blanket over Mark before walking to the door. "Night Mark..."

"Night." She mumbled quietly before going to sleep. I and turned the lights off before exiting and walking down the halls again. I walked over a few more minutes till I realized something.

"MK where the hell is my room?" I asked looking around. Instead of answering he simply made a path to my room which I happily followed. I walked for a bit longer until I found my room and walked in. Not really caring about my clothes, I simply and lazily walked over to the bed and fell face first into the sheets and pillows.

**"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"**

I woke up, yawning and stretching, before getting out of the bed. I looked at the ceiling of the room before looking to the door and speaking what was on my mind.

"Ah fuck it... Sleep is better." I said out loud before laying back down and sighing as I hit the extremely soft bed. There was a knock on the door. "Augh! Go away person or someone I don't care about! I be sleeping!"

"Well... Okay..." Mark said quietly, before adding. "We are out of cheese."

"Then go buy some!" I yelled as I flopped over on the bed so I was facing the mattress.

"We are... On a space... ship right?" Mark questioned both me and herself.

"Yes!" I yelled out trying to go back to sleep. "So go buy cheese and leave the llamas alone!"

"Uh... But... There is no.. Um store around here?" Mark said from the other side of the door

"Then leave me and my llamas alone!" I yelled, albeit muffled by the mattress.

"Can't you just come out here?" Mark asked a bit hesitantly.

"But then, my dear maiden, I would have to get out of bed." I said lifting my head from the bed.

"Please?" Mark said sounding a bit, panicked... I think that or sad. I just groaned before getting up and walking over to the door and groggily leaning against the wall while the door opened up.

"Hello?" Mark asked peeking through the door. I just waved a ha-.. Talon in front of her and said.

"Right here butter ball."

"Oh, hey..." Mark said awkwardly. "I'm uh here to apologize for yesterday, my hormones are all haywire..."

"Ah it's fine... I am too tired right now to give a fuck right now anyway." I said slightly nodding off.

"Let's forget that ever happened, okay?" Mark said rubbing her left arm.

"Forget what?" I asked as I leaned against the wall with my eyes closing and yawning a bit.

"Uh... That whole um... Deal with yesterday." She said looking away. I let out a small snore before snapping my eyes open and looking around.

"Huh? Oh... Um. Yeah sure." I said waving my talon at her dismissively.

"Good!" Mark said perking up, she looked at me with a smile before walking out. "Oh yeah, we still are missing the cheese."

"Um alright... Wait what about that mess yesterday?" I asked rubbing one of my eyes in hopes to get awake. Mark just froze in place for a few seconds before turning to me.

"Um... You'd say we would drop it." She said tilting her head looking at me.

"Drop what?" I asked again now a bit more awake. "The ball?"

"THE BALL." MK13 said repeating what I said loudly.

"Oh shut up MK." I said. "Anyway... What did you say we would drop?"

"Eh... The whole ordeal about yesterday?" Mark said looking down a bit, probably out of shame.

"The ordea-... Oh... OH!" I said fully awake now. "That."

"Mmmhmm..." Mark hummed as she nodded, not making eye contact.

"Eh... It's fine." I said leaning off the wall. I yawned one last time and stretched my arms out before sighing and letting my arms drop to my sides. "It's not that big of a deal."

"So... Um you are okay with forgetting it? Putting it behind us, all that crap?" Mark said looking up, but still not making eye contact.

"Well... Kinda hard to forget getting kissed by my friend when she was a girl... But yeah I will put it behind us." I said nodding and smiling. Mark slightly cringed when I said 'kissed' but she recovered quickly.

"Good!" She said looking at me with a smile and nodding.

I smiled back until a certain thought hit my mind, not that kind, but a thought about the dream I was having. "Say Mark... Did I say anything about cheese covered llamas this morning?" I asked putting a hand on my chin.

"Huh?" Mark asked looking confused before thinking quickly. "You did say something about leaving a llama alone..." She said tilting her head with a questioning glance.

"Ah... That explains it then." I clapped my talons together before looking down the

"Why?" Mark asked looking at me.

"No clue. Let's get some breakfast." I said walking out of the room and down the hall. "I want me some of that Turian bacon and eggs!"

"That was taken out of context somehow." Mark said looking at me weirdly.

"... That is just like you Mark." I said facetaloning. "Now let's go get some food before you somehow turn us walking down the hallway into a perverted comment."

"We are out of cheese..." Mark said sadly, also looking extremely sad. It almost looked like she had tears in her eyes.

"Um... Then we will get cheese when we get to the Citadel?" I more asked than said.

"Cheddar cheese?" Mark said looking to me basicly with puppy eyes.

"Augh! Okay okay! Cheddar! Just stop with the face!" I said walking down the hallway.

"Yay!" Mark squeaked, jumping a little in the air. I just chuckled and continued to walk towards the mess hall.

"Well come on. I can still cook a human breakfast." I said smiling... I think.

"Wait... You are going to cook for me?" Mark said looking me. I just shrugged and looked to her.

"Why not? Everytime I let you in the kitchen back home somehow the stove would keep setting on fire." I said chuckling. "We even had to pitch in for a fire extinguisher."

"Hey! Hey! I can still make a sammich!" She argued back. "And for your information I can cook somewhat..."

"Yes. A sandwich doesn't count as cooking. It's putting meat and cheese between bread." I said.

"Ssh! Its a delicate art of sandwich making." Mark said looking at me with a smile.

"... Nope." I said smiling back and turning a corner.

"B-But! Come on!" Mark said skipping to catch up with me.

"Nnnnnope. Sandwiches don't count." I said shaking my head.

"Oh hell yes they do." Mark said slightly pushing me, in a playful manner.

"Nnnnnnnnnope." I said smiling.

"Stop smiling like a jerk." Mark said looking at me, then flipping me off for some reason. I just turned around began to dance while moving backwards along side mark.

"Can't you see all the fucks I don't give?" I said still smiling. Mark just sighed and shook her head, before walking ahead of me. I just stopped before turning back around and catching up to her. "Oh come on! That was perfect for the moment!... Until you had to throw a hissy fit."

I gave her a evil grin and poked her in the sides. That caused her to basically launch up a few feet in the air when she landed, she scowled at me before narrowing her eyes. "Oh ho!.. Someone is ticklish is she?" I said with a evil smile.

"Don't you dare." I she said jumping back a bit. I just continued to grin and took a step towards her. She walked back one step looking at me with the evil eye. I just stepped back and gave her a small laugh.

"Oh come on... I am not that cruel." I said still smiling and walking down the hallway.

"You never know..." Mark said narrowing her eyes at me. "Shit can be spontaneous sometimes."

I just kept smiling and walked over to the mess hall door and walked inside as it opened. "You're right... But I do have a way to get back at you whenever you try and prank me now."

"Shit..." Mark muttered before walking in after me. She was looking at me before walking over to the fridge, she stood there before crouching down and opening the freezer. "Oh god! Ice cream!"

Mark promptly ripped out a tub of ice cream and was looking for a spoon. I just shook my head at Mark's antics before walking over to the fridge and pulling out a drink and some random Turian food. As I walked by Mark, I grabbed the tub of ice cream and walked back to the freezer and placed it back in before grabbing a fork and beginning to eat my breakfast.

"Hey! I was going to eat that!" Mark said before basically crawling over to the freezer. I just walked over and grabbed the collar of her coat before dragging her away from the fridge.

"Nooooo Mark. You can't eat the whole tub of ice cream." I said.

"Ah! Rape! Stop it!" Mark said trying to squirm out of my grip. "Stop!"

I just sighed and pulled her out of the kitchen before letting go and walking back to the fridge to grab some actual food for her. "Mark! What you want? Eggs? Bacon? Random assortment of food?"

"I hate eggs! Gimmie meat! Something tasty!" Mark demanded from the living room. "This couch is noooot comfy!" She shortly there after whined.

I just groaned a grabbed what meat I could find in the fridge. After getting up and placing the food on the counter, I stretched a bit more and looked to the stove and realized something. "I have no fucking clue how to work this thing." I said looking at the electronics.

"Need some assistance, Sir?" MK 13 asked in a... Somewhat british manner

"Um.. That would be nice." I said looking at the counter. All of sudden, the stove turned on from absolutely fucking nowhere. "Well... That is oddly convenient."

I looked around the kitchen a bit more and found some pans before grabbing a bit of butter from the fridge and putting everything next to the stove top. I cut open the packages of meat and began to fry some bacon along with some other random meats I found.

"Can I have some coffee?!" Mark yelled from the sofa, albeit very tiredly yelling.

"Only if you make it yourself. I am busy cooking your breakfast." I yelled back.

"Awww come oooon!" Mark whined. "I'll give you a hug!"

"Just do it yourself!" I yelled as I walked to the cabinet and grabbed plate. I put it on the other side of all the breakfast stuff and picked up my food and ate a little bite before going back to making Mark's food.

"Please! I beg you! I'll do anything!" Mark yelled from the couch. "Anything for a cup of coffee!"

"Alright how about this... You get up and make it yourself!" I yelled at him again.

"Eh... Fuck it then, I'll grab some later." Mark said in a defeated manner, before adding."Mind grabbing some coke then?"

"Um sure it's just over there. You should try to use your legs and grab it." I said.

"Oh..." Mark said stretching and reaching out to grab it. "Heeee... Eh... Can't … Reach."

"Oh just get up and more you lazy ass!" I yelled before putting the freshly cooked bacon on the plate.

"Just!… Another... inch..." Mark said Almost tipping over the couch with her just to reach the coke. I just sighed and looked to Mark and then to her soda before I gently waved my hand and the soda got pushed to Mark by a small blue glow.

"Huh... Never knew it was that easy." I muttered before going back to making breakfast. Mark just looked at me before shaking her head.

"You have magic, that is cheats." Mark complained looking at me. I just chuckled and walked over to the doorway and giving Mark a small 'lift'.

"Whoopsie!" I said as I saw Mark float in the air.

"H-Hey! Where did gravitation go?" Mark asked before noticing that her shirt was floating upwards. "Oh you are staying on, thank you!" She said grabbing her shirt and holding it down.

I just laughed and went back into the kitchen. "That wake you up any?!" I yelled.

"MY SHIRT! STOP IT!" Mark yelled back. "This is totally unfair!"

I just stopped and went back towards the couch and looked at Mark as she was floating in the air. "This counts as unfair? Then I guess tickling you would be considered cruel." I said smiling evilly.

"Noooo... Don't do this!" Mark said looking at me with puppy eyes. "Please! Anything but that!"

"Hmmm." I put a talon on my chin before smiling even wider and going. "Nope!"

Then I began to prod her sides and tickle her under her ribs. "Paybacks a bitch ain't it!" I said.

Mark of course was busy, trying to stop me from tickling her and laughing. "S-Stop! R-Rape! I'm calling this rape! STAPH!"

I stopped for a brief moment before smiling again and saying. "Okay!" Then I just walked back into the kitchen. Mark was gasping for air before she realized that she still was floating.

"Hey! What about the gravity of the situation?" Mark yelled at me.

"How about you..." Then I walked back in and put on some sunglasses. "Deal with it."

"Still... You raped me, not fair." Mark complained.

"And why is it not fair?" I said taking off and throwing away the sunglasses. "All I did was put you in the air."

"Then grope me, and violate me." Mark lied at me with a evil smile on her face.

"It's not violation if you enjoyed it. And from your laughter I think you enjoyed it quite a bit." I said smiling back.

"You liar, you forced me to laugh." Mark shot back.

"Oh pblpblpylbpylbpylb." I said blowing a rasberry at her. "It's not rape or violation if you're tickled. Just forced laughter."

"Precisely rape... Of laughter." she said looking at me and smiling with a heartwarming smile.

"Then why are you smiling like that?" I asked pointing at her smile.

"Because I'm floating in the air, sitting comfortably?" She said grinning at me, then giving me a wink.

"So you like being up there? Alright." I said shrugging and walking back to the kitchen.

"So you are going to leave a girl hanging?" Mark asked in disbelief. "Some friend you are!"

"Yup! I am the best!" I said before grabbing the plate of meat on the counter and going back to Mark. " 'Ere you go." I said handing her the plate.

"Eh... Thanks... But, can you put me down now?" Mark said looking at me, after grabbing the plate.

"Eh... Maybe?" I said questioningly as I looked to her.

"I'll flash myself if you don't!" Mark threatened.

"And I will just leave the room and you will be left up there with a cold chest AND still being stuck in the air." I said tilting my head.

"You will be exhaust any time soon!" She said pointing at me.

"Then that's when you will get down!" I said smiling and walking back to the kitchen and grabbing my food.

"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP LIFTING MY SHIRT UP?!" Mark yelled angrily at me.

"I can't control that! I can only control the thing that it is attached to!" I yelled back.

"Oh great now its off! God damn it!" She said trying to reach after it since it was on the ground.

"You own fault! Should have kept a better grip on it!" I yelled from the kitchen.

"Not my fault you gave me a plate of food! It's your fault for being a perv to!"

"Who's the one who wanted it!?" I yelled back.

"Raggelfraggel! Its not I who won't put me down." Mark complain.

"Eh... You'll be fine. Just zip up your coat and you will be fine." I said as I ate more of my food and walked back towards the couch.

"But It has no zipper!" Mark whined.

"Then button it up!" I yelled again.

"No buttons either!"

"Ugh... Alright fine." I said. "... Wait how do I stop the biotics?"

"Just... Um... Stand still and let me shoot you." Mark said with a insane grin on her face.

"Hmmm... How about. No." I said. Just then Mark fell to the ground. "Oh... That's how it works."

"Hey stop looking at me! Damn it!" Mark said before scrambling to grab her shirt. "You are still looking idiot."

I just turned around and walked back into the kitchen. "You should consider putting velcro or something on that coat."

"No I like my coat as it is, thank you." Mark said. "Although if you could do me a favor and show where the fuck a bra and panties are then you would be very kind."

"How would I know? Just go look back at the dresser in the bedroom."

"You are a turian, sniff it out." Mark said with a sick grin. "If you know what I mean."

"I didn't know you had a fetish." I said taking a bite of my food.

"Says the one with a food fetish." Mark said looking at me after walking into the kitchen with a shirt on, she then leaned against the counter.

"Since when did I develop a food fetish? I am just hungry." I shrugging.

"Since you were my roommate, I slightly recall someone raiding the fridge around one in the morning." She said looking at me.

"It's called waking up hungry." I said glaring at Mark.

"One hour after midnight? Yeah right..." She said with a small evil grin,

"Oh sod off. I just eat a lot." I said sighing.

"Whatever you say sir-fat-a-lot." Mark said waving her hand at me, before taking out a glass and filling it with water. "Have you sniffed out the panties and bra yet?" She asked with a eyebrow raised.

"Well no. I have been talking to you. And I am not a dog! I can't just sniff things out!" I said glaring at her.

"You are a Turian, use your nose for a few seconds and figure it out."

"Oh yeah like I can just sniff the air and find your clothes." I said rolling my eyes.

"Try it then." Mark said in a childish voice, almost challenging me to do it. I just rolled my eyes again and sighed.

"If I do it will you stop talking about it?" I asked.

"Yes..." Mark said looking at me, with somewhat of a weird smile.

"Fine. Here goes nothing." I said I tilted my head into the air and took a deep breath before looking back to Mark. "See? Noth-... Wait a minute. What smells like sandwiches?"

"My coat maybe?" Mark said. "Look point your nose in the bedroom direction, and take a fukken sniff already."

"Alright alright don't get your hair in a knot." I said.

"Good doggie!" Mark said running up to me and standing on her toes just to pet me on my head.

I just deadpanned and smacked her hand away. "Don't do that." I said glaring at her. Then I turned towards the door of the mess hall and took a deep sniff of the air. "Um... did the hallway always smell like sandwiches?"

"... That was taken out of context somehow." Mark said from next to me, looking at me. I just shook my head and set my food down before going towards the door.

"I don't know how you take things out of context so easily... But... Something does smell out of place." I said as I neared the door. Mark just cleared her throat, and looked away from me.

"Just find the damn underwear." She said scratching her cheek. "Also that was taken out of context too..."

"Yeah yeah I am looking..." I said waving a talon at her as I walked out the door and followed the smell. "This is so weird... Everything smells different."

"You are like a big alien dog." Mark cooed. "Except all your fur is gone and replaced with some sort of natural armor or something..."

"You have SUCH a good way with words." I said sarcastically as I neared the bedroom door.

"I'm the best! Everyone knows that." Mark agreed with me, totally ignoring the fact that I was sarcastic. I just shook my head and walked through the door as it opened up. I just sniffed around for a few moments until I went and crawled under the bed.

"Oh... That view." Mark said with amusement from behind me. I just grabbed a can from under the bed and threw it at her before continuing to search.

"You missed." Mark said laughing a bit. "You still have one-..."

"One what?" I asked as I looked under the bed.

"Huh, thought that you were going to interu-..."

"WHAT LIKE THIS!?" I yelled before she could finish.

"Yep. Just like that."

"Yeah well..." I said as I found what I was looking for. I crawled out from under the bed and stood up. "Here are your frilly things."

"Why are my panties covering up your nose? …" Mark said looking at me with disbelief. "And did you just take a deep breath of them?"

"What?" I said as I tried to look at my nose, but ultimately failing. "I can't get that stupid smell out of my nose though!" Mark just burst into laughter and fell down on the floor and rolled around. "Oh fuck you too... Now get up!"

Unfortunately, I still can't control those biotics very well and I sent mark into the ceiling. "Oops."

"Fuck." Mark muttered in between laughs. "Did you enjoy sniffing panties?"

"What are you talking about? I just found them under the bed!" I yelled.

"You still have them on your face..." Mark said looking at me, from the ceiling.

"I do?" I said lifting a hand to my face and pulling off a pair of underwear. "Ah... That explains why I couldn't get the smell out of my nose... OH GOD I HAVE BEEN SMELLING WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR!"

Mark again just burst into laughter before looking down at me with half lidded eyes. "How did my womanly parts smell like?"

"Shut up!" I yelled feeling myself blush and walking towards the door.

"So you are going to leave me hanging, now literally hanging of the ceiling?"

"Yes." I said bluntly and walking out of the room.

"Did I at least smell nice down there?!" Mark yelled after me. I just sighed and snapped my finger... claw things, before hearing someone go 'Thump' against the floor.

"Ow..." Mark whined from inside the room, I heard some scrambling and after a while I heard a poof-ish sound. "Mmm yes." Mark mused quietly

"I don't know and don't want to know." I said walking off down the hallway.

"Sir, I would recommend you to go get your port authorisation code for docking, we soon are going to get to the Citadel relay." MK13 said.

"Mmmk MK." I said.

"Do you know where the codes are, Sir?"

"Codes?" I asked.

"They are in Marcion's underwear... You said no one would look for them there, Sir." MK13 said.

"Well... I was right about that..." I said facetaloning.

"You must go fetch them boy!" MK 13 said with... a more friendly-ish voice.

"Oh shut up..." I said to MK before going to the bedroom and knocking on the door. "YO Mark!.. I need to ask you something."

"I'm naked and playing with myself, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!"

I just facetaloned again and slowly dragged my talon down my face before saying. "Just look in your underwear and tell me the numbers!"

"No, too tierd."

"FROM WHAT!?" I yelled annoyed.

"Not having coffee, because SOMEONE, was TOO fucking LAZY."

"So you follow me around when you don't have underwear, but don't get up when you need coffee?" I said trying to work it out in my head.

"Yes, and yes." Mark said. "Come cuddle with me!" She cooed at me.

"No. Just tell me what the hell the numbers are on your panties!" I yelled.

"Nooo, I want cuddlies." Mark cooed again.

"Too damn bad! Just... Ugh throw your underwear out here so I can see the god damned numbers." I said facetaloning.

"I don't wanna."  
**  
**"Mark I swear to god I will crush you against the sea!" I yelled.

"Against your what?" Mark joked.

"The se..." I shut my mouth and took a deep breath before sighing and saying. "Mark. I will give you three seconds to tell me the numbers or toss me the underwear before I crush you against the the ceiling."

"I want cuddlies! Pwease?" Mark pleaded.

"NO! Just give me the damned numbers!" I yelled again.

"Pweeeease."

"WHY!?" I bellowed getting rather angry.

"I feel lonely." Mark said sadly. I just groaned and began to bang my head against the wall until there was a fairly large sized dent in the wall and a small amount of blue blood.

"Ow..." I said rubbing my head and hissing as I touched a small cut on my forehead. "Look what you made me do! I am bleeding!... AND THERES A DENT IN THE WALL!"

"Oh so your dick broke the wall... Good to know that you are that hard." I just gave the wall one last smash with my face before I just sighed and opened the door.

"Mark I swear to god if you're not decent I am sending you through the airlock." I said walking in.

"Cuddlies?" Mark asked holding her arms up in the air. She apparently undressed, but kept her underwear on she also had the cover over her. I just deadpanned and went to the bathroom to clean up my head. I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out some MediGel from earlier and dabbed a bit of it on my forehead.

"Ow... Ow... Ow..." I said as I dabbed the gel on my wound. I walked out of the bathroom with a slight grunt of pain and looked to Mark. "Put on a shirt and a set of pants, then fine. I will cuddle with you."

"But... But... Oh fine." Mark said crawling to the side of the bed, before stretching and picking up some clothes, which she quickly put on. With a reluctant sigh, I walked over to the bed and stood at the edge of it and just kind of zoned out.

"Sooo... How is this going to work?" I asked looking at Mark finally.

"Come here!" Mark said with a small smile, holding her arms out.

"You are such a child." I said shaking my head and awkwardly getting onto the bed.

"But cuddlies are nice." Mark said looking at me with a puppy face. I just put a talon up and covered her face.

"There... Your weapon has been disabled." I said getting comfortable on the bed and sighing as I layed back. Mark just snuggled up against my side, before letting out a sigh of contentment.

"Happy now?" I asked looking down at her.

"Yes!" She said putting her chin on my chest, and looking at me with a heartwarming smile. I just sighed and closed my eyes for a second before saying.

"Now I am never getting those damned codes." I muttered. I stayed quiet for two minutes or so before I heard a quiet adorable snore coming from Mark. "Ah great... Now I REALLY won't get the codes."

I just sighed and looked at the ceiling before a thought hit me. "MK13 don't you have the codes on a file or something?"

"No!" MK13 voice bellowed effectively scaring Mark awake.

"Aaaand you just had to wake her." I said shaking my head.

"... It was a joke." MK 13 said.

"A.I.s AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO JOKE!" I yelled.

"Well then, sorry for you giving me a personality then." MK 13 said sarcasticly.

"And who is the dumbass I modeled you after..." I more muttered than asked.

"Yourself." MK 13 said. I just frowned,Somehow, and began to bang the back of my head against the wall.

"Why!… DOES!... IT!... ALWAYS!... HAVE!... TO!... BE!... ME!" I said in between me smashing my head. All of a sudden I felt a tug on my shirt.

"Stop that please... You are going to get a concussion." Mark said quietly. I just stopped for a moment before pointing to the cut on my head.

"I already have probably." I said.

"Then don't make it worse... Please?" Mark said sounding sad.

"..." I just looked at her before sighing. "Fine. But I do need those codes."

Mark just sighed and pulled up her shirt and looked inside her bra. "Uh..."

"Well this isn't awkward at all!" I said looking away.

"Um... I'm... Uh, Not sure if this is it... or if they are in the panties..." Mark said awkwardly.

"Then go to the bathroom and check please." I said still looking away.

"You think this is it?" Mark said pointing at something inside of her bra. "Hey look!"

"Just tell me the numbers and I will tell you if they are it or not!" I said getting flustered.

"I can't see them properly, Its very hard to look hard to look down in fact." Mark said looking up with a slight blush. I just sighed and slowly turned my head.

"F-fine... Where are the numbers?" I said.

Mark turned around and took of her bra, before handing it to me. "Its in the left one... I think."

"And you couldn't have just done that in the first place?" I asked as I took the bra.

"Didn't think about it until now."

"Yeah... Sure." I said looking in the bra. "Hmmm... MK! Are the codes... 270-320-133-620-757?" I asked.

"No, Sir... Thats for your bank account that have about 10 million credits stored on it."

"JESUS CHRIST! I AM A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE!?" I bellowed out.

"How else do you think how you afford so much black market shit?" MK 13 asked sarcastically.

"Yeah I really did model you after me." I muttered. "Okay then... Um.. Mark.. We may need the other undergarment." I blushed a bit.

"Well..." Mark said as she stood up and looked down her pants, turning around too, not really thinking. "Eh, can't see anything."

"Th-then go to the damned bathroom!" I said turning my head away.

"Eh, fine." Mark said walking into the bathroom, after a minute, a hand holding panties was poking out of the bathroom.

"What? Just read the numbers off!" I said. Mark just walked out in a towel.

"Fine." Mark said in a childish voice, she unfolded her panties and looked inside them before reading up. "303-272-012-585-693... Ha, 69."

"Are those the codes MK?" I asked.

"Y-... Nope, thats her bank account... The authorisation code is only four digits." Mk 13 said. I just got up and looked to the wall before slamming my head against it again. Only leaving a massive dent in the wall.

"Ow..."

"Hey what did I say about that?" Mark said looking at me... Still only in a towel.

"Oh go put your pants on." I said rubbing my forehead. "MK... Is it digits or letters?"

"Both, Sir." MK 13 said as Mark tiptoed into the bathroom and locked the door.

"Alright... Um... Four digits and four letters. Um... AUGH!" I yelled out randomly and fell backwards onto the bed. "Ugh I don't know. Is it 1337?" I said.

"... That is correct, but the four letters, Sir?" MK 13 said.

"I... I think I know!" Mark yelled from the other side of the bathroom door.

"What Mark?" I said from my spot on the bed, which was very comfortable.

"Is it Mark?" She asked from the other side, before turning on the shower.

"Oh come on why would it b-" I began

"... That is correct. We now have both the digits and letters." MK 13 said.

"Oh son of a bitch!" I yelled out and flopped onto my stomach. "Just input the codes then dock us, so we can get food and other supplies!... AND A OMNI-TOOL THAT FREAKING WORKS!"

"You still need, to steer the ship through the relay... I still can't steer." MK 13 said.

"Oh fabulous... Alright how long until I need to do that?" I asked.

"In 30 minutes, Sir."

"Greeeeeeat." I said as I layed my head back down.

**"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"**

(_30 minutes later_)

(_On the bridge_)

"Okay okay how do I do this!?" I said trying not to panic as we were nearing the mass relay and I was sitting in the pilot's seat. "This is not going well for us!"

"Sir you simply have to use the first panel to direct the direction and the second to adjust the engines power." MK13 responded.

"This is harder than it looks you stupid A.I.!" I yelled as we neared the Mass Relay. I began to frantically mess with the panels.

"I'm not stupid, in fact I'm smarter than you, since you programmed me to be smart." MK 13 said

"I will program you to be a four year old if you don't shut up!" I yelled at him before beginning to steer the ship towards the mass relay. As we began to approach the mass relay, I was freaking out a bit more. "How the hell do I do this!?" I yelled out.

"Just steer it close enough." MK13 said

"Oh that is a GREAT deal of help!" I said.

"Do I hear girly screaming?" Mark said poking her head through the door.

"Oh shut up! I am driving!" I yelled behind me.

"Okay." Mark said before leaving.

"Alright just steer the ship close... That this going to be a bit difficult." I muttered as I began to steer the ship, hopefully, towards the mass relay. "I hope to god this works..."

**"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"**

(_Five minutes later_)

(_Arriving at Citadel_)

I was leaning back in my pilots seat panting a bit because of the sudden flinging of the ship I was in. "I... Can't.. Believe that worked." I said still panting a bit. "MK... Can you take it from here?"

"I'm still not connected to the ship." He responded.

"Oh son of a bitch!" I said throwing my arms in the air. "Can't I put Auto-Pilot on or something!?"

"Yes, you may. Shall I give the codes when it is needed?" MK13 asked.

"Yes. Please. Now... I AM OFF! To go calm my jangled nerves." I said getting out of the seat and stretching. After a symphony of cracks, I walked out of the bridge and began to look around. "Alright now where is Mark? We need to get ready to land... Or dock. Whatever the term is."

"She is back in the staaaaaaaaaaar gazing room." MK 13 said.

"Alright?... TO THE STARGAZING ROOM!" I yelled out while pointing dramatically before running down the halls to said room. As I ran around for a few minutes I looked to the doors and read off the names of the rooms. I finally made it to the Star Gazing room, slightly panting, again, from running. After calming my breathing down a bit, I knock on the door. "Yo Mark! You in there?"

"Nope." I heard someone say from my left side.

"Da Fuq?" I said looking to my left.

"I've been following you since you yelled 'to the stargazing room'." Mark said looking at me. "Why are you looking for me anyways? I was busy creeping the hallways."

I blinked before sighing and turning to face her. "Creepiness aside... Where did you go?" I said looking to see her missing from my left.

"What are you talking about? I have been your right side the whole time." I heard someone say from the right. I sighed and turned to her again.

"Anyway... I was looking for you because we are going to be docking at the Citadel soon and came to tell you to get prepared." I said smiling a bit. "And we can finally go get some more supplies."

"Yay!" Mark said skipping down the hallway, for unknown reasons.

"Right... Anyway. I am going to go get into a different set of clothes, since well.. These are old and I smell like crap." I said walking down the hall towards the bedroom. I walked for a bit before getting to the room and slipping out of my old clothes. Then I walked over to the dresser grabbed some new clothing and took a quick shower, which was slightly difficult because of all the high tech crap.

I walked out of the bathroom with a sigh and a new set of clothes on. "Alright. Now to just find a pistol to take onto the citadel." I said as I walked out of the bedroom and walked towards the armory. Or at least I think I was. "Oh son of a bitch! Where is the Armory?"

"Somewhere in that direction." Mark said skipping past me, pointing in a random direction.

"Where are you coming from? Oh never mind." I said as I walked in the direction Mark pointed. Surprisingly, I actually found the armory and walked in before looking around for a pistol. 'Huh... Maybe I should start to listen to Mark... Wait. NOPE!'

"Hmmm... Where.. Are the pistols?" I said looking around in boxes and on shelfs. "I swear it's like if I look for it, it will magically disappear."

I let out a groan of frustration until I slammed my talon against a wall. After about ten seconds, the move back a bit causing me to step back. As I watched the wall began to rotate rather slowly until I was staring at the LARGEST collection of guns I had seen in quite a while.

"Holy shit... That's new." I muttered. I walked over to the wall and looked at the massive amount of weaponry I apparently had. I began to search for a bit until I found what I was looking for. A simple Hand Cannon. I smiled and picked the gun and smiled before clicking the retraction button and letting fold up before putting it in my pocket along with a few extra thermal clips.

"Alright. Now to find Mark and go through security." I muttered as I walked out of the armory. "Yo! MK we docked yet?"

"Yeah we have, Sir. You want some cheese with that?" MK13

"What?" I tilted my head in confusion.

"Nevermind."

"Alright... Tell Mark to meet me at the airlock." I said as I walked down the hall.

"Okay, Sir... But I won't give you directions." MK13 said.

"Well... I could just follow the signs." I said pointing to the wall that said 'Airlock -'

"Follow what signs?" Mark said skipping past me.

"Tho-... Oh for the love of god." I said as I just walked over and picked her up before following the signs to the airlock out. "Come on we are going to the Citadel... And somehow pass the C-Sec or whatever it is."

"Why in the heavens are you picking me up?" Mark asked looking at me wide-eyed.

"Because I don't like you skipping everywhere. It's disturbing." I said looking straight ahead.

"But I feel free... Except this bra, it makes me feel confined."

"OH ptlhtplb. Let's just go and spend our money so we don't starve... And get me a new omni-tool." I said smiling a bit. As I finished talking we arrived at the airlock to get onto the Citadel. "You ready to go to the Citadel?"

"As ready as having sex with a virgin." Mark said looking at me with a devious smile.

"That makes no sense... Oh fuck it." I said hanging my head.

"Confusion is super effective!" Mark said proudly. "Would you put me down? I'll scream otherwise."

"Scream about what?... Nevermind I don't want to know." I said putting Mark down. "Alright.. Let's do this! MK open up the doors please."

The doors to the airlock simply opened up, rather slowly, and we walked out onto the platform connected to my ship. "Welp... It's now or never." I muttered.


End file.
